STFU, JD Vance

It's your slightly jetlagged Sunday show rundown!

James David Vance, “Junior Douchecanoe” for short, transformed himself from a mediocre author who achieved self-importance after Donald Trump was elected president in 2016 to a fully-fledged MAGA toady Ohio senator in 2022.

In 2016, Vance was seen as some kind of Appalachian whisperer because of his turgid memoir Hillbilly Elegy (now an even more cringe inducing film!), and he was an outspoken critic of Trump’s when he still sought to be seen as a mainstream conservative.

On Sunday’s “This Week” on ABC, George Stephanopoulos dove in to ask Vance all the good questions about his de-evolution as a conservative and human being.

Stephanopoulos, from the beginning, corrected Vance’s lies, for instance when Vance tried to say we were better off with Trump than we are now:

VANCE: [Trump] delivered, George, he did a good job. And I think it's why we ought to give him another run at it.

STEPHANOPOULOS: Of course, wages are rising now. And we just saw that economic forum coming this week showing the economy continues to grow new job growth, as well.

Stephanopoulos, not giving Vance time to spin another yarn of bullshit, quickly pivoted to asking about Trump being found liable of sexual assault and defamation against E. Jean Carroll (again) and played a political ad about it.

Stephanopoulos then asked Vance about his endorsement of a convicted sexual assaulter, and Vance tried to minimize the impact of what these actions say to victims.

STEPHANOPOULOS: How do you respond to that, that you're supportive Trump is sanctioning that kind of behavior, sexual assault and defamation?

VANCE: Well, I think it's actually very unfair to the victims of sexual assault, to say that somehow their lives are being worse by electing Donald Trump for president, when what he's trying to do, I think is restore prosperity. So, I think it's insulting to victim -- victims of sexual assault.

Ah yes, the true victim here is the powerful and abusers like Donald Trump! How dare you prevent prosperity by seeking justice? Remember: WWJATTG, What Would Jesus Allow Trump To Grab?!

Stephanopoulos called Vance out for dismissing the legitimate findings of juries. You know, the things conservatives say they want for Trump and Republicans — “innocent until proven guilty!” — but skip entirely if the name Biden is involved (Hunter hog pics preferred).

STEPHANOPOULOS: You call it a ridiculous case. These were juries that found him liable for sexual assault in defamation. That's ridiculous?

VANCE: These are juries, George, in extremely left-wing jurisdictions. These are cases that are very often funded by left-wing donors and they’re cases that are funded explicitly to harm him politically, not to seek justice for any particular group of individuals. […]

STEPHANOPOULOS: So, juries in New York City are not legitimate when they – when they find someone liable for sexual defamation and assault?

VANCE: Well, when the cases are funded by left wing donors and when the case has absolute left-wing bias all over it, George, absolutely I think that we should call into question that – that particular conclusion. We have to remember, of course, that these cases exist, not because they were trying to seek justice. […] [A] far-left donor did not fund this case because he cares about what happens to sexual assault victims. He funded this case to harm his political opponent, Donald Trump. It's pretty weird. It's a weird thing to do to use the courts in this way. It's never happened before in American history. And, yes, I think it should call into question the entire apparatus that's being used to go after Donald Trump.

There’s a lot of horseshit in this answer, so let’s break it down.

Vance continues the long tradition of conservatives being comfortable enough to discount the patriotism of people in progressive states with zero consequences. While Stephanopoulos does point out the ridiculousness of delegitimizing jury verdicts for politics, it is the mainstream news media that has made conservatives feel comfortable to shit on blue states like this. Conservatives never see consequences for this, but the mainstream news media goes along with every right-wing tantrum if a progressive even slightly jabs at regressive red states. That’s largely why we even have to deal with JD Vance, first as a public figure and now as a senator.

And as far as a rich donors funding legal cases to harm their opponents, maybe Vance should Google his former 2022 donor daddy Peter Thiel and his connection to Bollea (Hulk Hogan) v. Gawker. Because we agree “it's pretty weird. It's a weird thing to do to use the courts in this way.” But it is far from “it's never happened before in American history.”

Stephanopoulos asked Vance what he would have done on January 6 if he had been then — as he is clearly desperately thirsty to be now — Trump’s vice president. To the surprise of no one, Vance would have been a happy coup-performing insurrectionist.

Some text:

VANCE: If I had been vice president, I would have told the states, like Pennsylvania, Georgia and so many others, that we needed to have multiple slates of electors, and I think the U.S. Congress should have fought over it from there. That is the legitimate way to deal with an election that a lot of folks, including me, think had a lot of problems in 2020.

JD Vance knows how to do a “legitimate” coup, everyone. (Philip Bump has a good explanation for how full of shit Vance is right here.)

But the pièce de résistance came when George Stephanopoulos ended the interview. First, Stephanopoulos played a clip of Vance saying Trump should just ignore Supreme Court rulings he thinks are illegitimate, especially if they’re trying to step on his authoritarian superpowers. When Vance tried to further expound on it, Stephanopoulos ended the interview by doing what we all wish we could do to Vance:

STEPHANOPOULOS: You didn't say "military" in your answer, and you've made it very clear you believe the president can defy the Supreme Court.

Senator, thanks for your time this morning.

VANCE: No, no -- no, no, George. (mic muted)

STEPHANOPOULOS: Roundtable's up next. We'll be right back.

Never has silence and the image of JD Vance being shut the fuck up been more satisfying.

Have a week.

Follow Michael Mora on Bluesky and Threads. (If you are still on Twitter, I’m also HERE)