Stop Hating America So We Can Look Into This Benghazi Thing For The First Time Ever

• Talking about torture is justsoyesterday. And besides, there is no reason to talk about bad things our country might have done, because we're America, and we don't do bad things. And if you say that we do, well, you obviously hate this country and freedom and George Washington. Love it or leave it, haters, because America is THE BEST. So let's put that unpleasantness whole our government-raped-and-murdered-prisoners thing behind us, because we have far more important things to talk about. Things thatreallymatter. You know what that is:  

  The chairman of the special House committee created to investigate the 2012 terrorist attacks in Benghazi, Libya, pushed back Wednesday against critics who have called for him to abandon his efforts, saying “we should not move on” until more questions about the episode are answered. [...]

  Mr. Gowdy asked why the administration did not initially use the word “terrorist” to describe those behind the attacks, in which four Americans were killed, and why the State Department’s requests for more security for its diplomatic compound were denied.

  “I remain keenly aware that there are those on both sides of the aisle who have concluded that all questions have been answered, there is nothing left to do, no more witnesses to talk to, no more documents to review,” Mr. Gowdy said. “It is worth noting that some of those very same folks did not think that Benghazi should have been looked at in the first place.”

  Sure, we've already held plenty of hearings and investigations and half a dozen reports, but Rep. Trey Gowdy and his party are not done investigating, not even close, and they will hold hearings in January, February, March, and ALL THE MONTHS until they get to the bottom of proving how President Barack Hussein Rodham Clinton did a bad. And forced the entire United States government to do a bad, too. But at least we can move on from talking about that little nothing of a report on our government's torture program, because America would never do that because America would never do ANYTHING wrong, shut UP, stop talking about that, that was YEARS ago anyway. And besides, that report is just partisan nonsense. Why do you hate America?

• So the good news for California is that it's finally raining. The bad news is that it's supposed to be a storm of, like, biblical proportions:  

  A powerful storm that is expected to blast the Bay Area Thursday with bursts of rain and gusts of wind up to 70 mph has prompted school districts all over the area to close schools and residents to heed warnings to make sure they're prepared

  Oakland school officials on Wednesday afternoon joined San Francisco, Berkeley, Alameda and other districts in announcing schools in their cities will close Thursday, according to a news release. San Lorenzo Valley schools in the Santa Cruz Mountains also will close.

  For those of you unfamiliar with this part of the world, schools don't close for weather. Ever. Because it's California.

  Meteorologist Jan Null of Saratoga-based Golden Gate Weather said this storm could rival some of the strongest to hit the Bay Area in 50 years, and if the amount of rain is delivered as expected, this month could become one of the wettest Decembers in a decade, according to data from the National Weather Service.

• Time magazine announced its Person of the Year for 2014. (We don't say "Man of the Year" anymore because Time discovered, in 1999, that women can be persons too.) While most people do not actually care whom Time names (winners in the past have included Hitler and you -- yes, you ), this year, Time honored the Ebola fighters, which is kinda nice:  

  For decades, Ebola haunted rural African villages like some mythic monster that every few years rose to demand a human sacrifice and then returned to its cave. It reached the West only in nightmare form, a Hollywood horror that makes eyes bleed and organs dissolve and doctors despair because they have no cure.

  But 2014 is the year an outbreak turned into an epidemic, powered by the very progress that has paved roads and raised cities and lifted millions out of poverty. This time it reached crowded slums in Liberia, Guinea and Sierra Leone; it traveled to Nigeria and Mali, to Spain, Germany and the U.S. It struck doctors and nurses in unprecedented numbers, wiping out a public-health infrastructure that was weak in the first place. One August day in Liberia, six pregnant women lost their babies when hospitals couldn’t admit them for complications. Anyone willing to treat Ebola victims ran the risk of becoming one.

  Which brings us to the hero’s heart. There was little to stop the disease from spreading further. Governments weren’t equipped to respond; the World Health Organization was in denial and snarled in red tape. First responders were accused of crying wolf, even as the danger grew. But the people in the field, the special forces of Doctors Without Borders/Médecins Sans Frontières (MSF), the Christian medical-relief workers of Samaritan’s Purse and many others from all over the world fought side by side with local doctors and nurses, ambulance drivers and burial teams.

• It has come to this. We now have a Voxsplainer on furries:  

  Nineteen attendees of the Midwest FurFest were sent to the hospital after an apparently intentional chlorine gas attack in the Hyatt hotel in Rosemont, Illinois, where the convention was being held.

  Midwest FurFest is what's known as a "furry convention," aimed at members of the furry subculture. That group has come in for a lot of ridicule over the years from posters on sites like Something Awful and 4chan. Mainstream press accounts tend to portray furries as sexual fetishists united by a common interest in sex in animal costumes.

  But survey evidence suggests a lot of these stereotypes are wrong (very few furries think sex in animal costumes is a good idea, for instance). Here's a brief guide to the furry community, which hopefully can clear up some of these misunderstandings.

• Did you know there is a show on the teevee called "Jane The Virgin"? It's true, and our friends at Happy Nice Time People have all the details for you. So go there and read all about it and check out even more bewb tube shenanigans and snarky recaps of your favorite shows. And be sure to follow Happy Nice Time People on Twitter.