Stroking Connie Britton's Hair, Watching Music Videos, and More More More Happy Links

Stephen Colbert was kind enough to introduce us to Jake Rush, GOP Tea Party candidate for Florida's Third Congressional District, a fine gentleman who loves the Constitution and also too happens to like live action role playing as a vampire. 

The new Sia video for "Chandelier" is amazing and stars one of those kids from "Dance Moms," which are two thoughts we did not think went together before today.

There's a hottt new conspiracy theory that a random episode of The Simpsons both predicted the Syrian uprising and also too shows it was premeditated. Sure?!

Never change, Donald Sterling. Just keep pumping out racist nonsense 24/7 until the citizens of LA come for you with pitchforks to wrench their semi-beloved Clippers from your clammy bigoted hands.

This week, Silicon Valley had holograms and now we all want holograms of ourselves.

Amazon just patented a way to do photography that is probably a way that you yourself have done photography, so please enjoy your cease and desist from Amazon, included free with Amazon Prime.

Please help us raise enough money to fly the Happy staff to Texas to touch Connie Britton's hair and support Wendy Davis.

 Sideboob will never let you down.