A new study published by Limey scientist-types suggests that alcohol is more dangerous and destructive than heroin! Ha ha, so next time you are drinking alone in your room and mutter "at least I don't inject opiates between my toes or in my eyeballs," an Englishman will parachute through your window and then explain -- using science -- how you are a hopeless wreck. The study ranked each substance for "harms including mental and physical damage, addiction, crime and costs to the economy and communities." So yeah, that's booze, alright! The study also found that Magical Mushrooms are not very destructive/husbands who gobble them up usually do not beat their wives. Ergo, you should eat those poop-shrooms by the bushel. [
Join the Drugs Are Too Damn High party. And what a party it is!
Allllllll right!
I'm sure DARE will be completely overhauled this week, seeing as how science-based it is.
Please explain Michele Bachmann then.
BTW I just realized via typo that "explain" is an anagram of "ex-palin". Yay?