"supermodel sex maid nanny therapist cheerleader" lol. My wife is Mexican. Her idea of trad wife is "dad lays down the unpopular rules after mom has told him what they will be behind closed doors while mom gives you permission to do fun stuff without his input."
Basically, when it comes to raising children, doing chores, working jobs, and (erp!) one partner going to school (🤞if all goes well), it takes each partner giving 100% for it to feel like a 50-50 split. From each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs. Men have to do more than take out the garbage and wash the dishes. Wash the children, diaper the children, read to the children, dress the children, shop for the children, take the children to extra curriculars like sports, do homework with children, feed children, listen to children, do emergency medical care with children, drive, drive, drive. People with children talk about children because children become their lives for 20 years. Even divorce doesn’t change things, it just adds visitation and lawyers.
I grew up in the 1960s, and women worked, usually in the family business, because families NEEDED THE MONEY. In big families, child care was the responsibility of older siblings. Extra chores.
You know, it is about time Mayor Mamdami came along and realized moms and dads need help with children. Even the people without children need help, but Pre-K sounds like one of those “why didn’t someone do something like this sooner?” Ideas.
Tradwife seems like the movie “The Help”, where black maids did work so that white wives could have bridge parties and use a toilet in a shed for personal hygiene. Funny how the tradwife went away when Carol Brady couldn’t find an Alice to hire anymore, and the Cartwrights couldn’t exploit Hop Sing.
You see, MAGA-voting white people? Without illegal immigrants, the Tradwife Lifestyle is not achievable.
And money? Just do it the German way, or the Hungarian way, or the Polish way, or the immigrant way. (Ask your great grandparents.). Everyone left school in 10th grade, everyone lived at home, everyone brought home their pay (And back in the 1930s and 1940s, employers paid in cash, or else bars cashed paychecks), and gave 100% to the mother, who gave money back to everyone, including father, if and when there was any, and if and when she felt like it. She paid the bills, and if money was short, she took in washing or begged for credit. And nobody complained, because the mother had a frying pan, a rolling pin, sewing scissors, and two shoes, and she knew how to use them. That is a traditional wife and mother.
These incels need to not breed, because they don’t seem to understand that women run the world, and always have. The world is going to hell right now because Hilary and Kamela aren’t running it. Ever notice how Joe Biden let Jill make the major decisions in their marriage? He ran the free world and played with the dogs, and she balanced the books and told him what time it was. Just so.
decades ago, after our mom kicked out our toxic dad, we "had a conversation" with my brother who had begun spouting "but that's WOMEN'S WORK" because he no longer wanted to help clean the dishes to do laundry.
my mom went on the "when you move out you will need to know these things".
I went with "if you learn to cook, you will never hurt for a date; she won't care if you can't afford a fancy restaurant meal but she WILL love that you care enough to cook for her, set up a nice table with candles and shit, and will wait on her hand and foot during this special date night."
He has been married to the same woman for over 20 years now and has taught all his kids how to cook (his oldest with his "starter wife" is now a doctor with the VA with two boys of her own, the two youngest are graduating college this year..."
Unconditional love means the work starts when everyone gets home and stops after everyone is in bed. Then it begins again 5 hours later.(8 hours of sleep? Get real.)
95% of America is sleep deprived. Having sex when you are sleep deprived? Must have missed that page in the Kama Sutra. I just know …”Don’t come home from drinking with loving on your mind”, which is why I gave up drinking (also because it saved money.). Somebody tell thr guys looking for tradwives that they will never find them in strip clubs.
So grateful our parents never made my younger sister or myself feel we needed to be married in order to be someone. In fact, Dad told us NOT to drop out of college and get married, as a cousin did. We're both never-married childless senior citizens with cats, thank you.
Ta, Robyn. Both my hot handsome husband and I love to cook. I also love to bake; he doesn't. He's a much better housekeeper than I, and I usually wash the dishes (we always have plenty to wash what with all the cooking). We do laundry together at the nearby laundromat. When we upgrade the pied-à-nuage, we'll have a mudroom with laundry. One of my retirement goals is starting sourdough and baking with that. Of course, neither of us has children. Two cats and two dogs is plenty to care for.
It's easy enough to distinguish the hostile sexist from the benevolent sexist
Hostile sexists tend to fit the Fred Flintstone, Ralph Kramden, Al Bundy, Rickie Ricardo, and Archie Bunker stereotype.
Benevolent sexists tend to fit the Barney Rubble, George Jetson, Ed Norton, Cliff Huxtable, and Ward Cleaver stereotype.
The difficult thing is that our society tends to impose traditional gender roles upon a marriage or within a family unit. This is also linked to jobs, incomes, social expectations of people within society as a whole. "Womens Work" pays less than "Mens Work" (one reason teachers and nurses are so poorly paid); women tend to have less job opportunities than men of the same educational/economic level; employers tend to be hostile towards working mothers.
It's interesting just how much sexism and racism is baked into our society, to the point that most people don't see it when they are not subjected to it. We are weeding a yard that's full of various types of weeds; it takes a long time, but it has to be done if we hope to progress as a society.
Very crucial point you've remarked upon here: "most people don't see it when they are not subjected to it"! EXACTLY. Not seeing it is part of the definition of privilege. Seeing it is part of becoming an ally. Addressing it actively it is being an ally.
“...it’s always good to have a wife who will just be there for you with unconditional love when you come home from a long day at work.”
`
Fine, I'll take the bait.
My Mother's parents were both born and raised in dirt floored farmhouses in Italy somewhere around 1900. They came here as newlyweds, around age 20 as far as I can figure out, to a country where they did not know anybody or speak the language, and proceeded to have four kids in six years.
Grandma stayed home, took care of the house, and raised their kids. Grandpa had three jobs -- not fancy jobs, either, the kind of crap they hired immigrants for in those days because nobody else would do them. They were happily married for 70-some years, and were loving, responsible parents to their kids.
I would bet good money that not a single one of the guys who watches these podcasts is willing to step up to that level. Everybody wants a "tradwife" until it's time to be a "tradhusband".
“Some women crave the focus on homemaking and child-rearing without career stress.”
`
At which point these guys will complain that boys are just too got dang "feminized" these days because Little Timmy's life is "dominated" by his Mother, woman teachers, etc., and they lack a manly influence.
I had a career. I have been an at-home-wife-and-mother. Between the two, the career was FAR less stressful. The same goes for literally every woman I know who did the same. To quote my Mom, "The crappiest job at least comes with a paycheck."
"because women don’t have to worry as much about getting pregnant and because they are economically independent, women have relationships out of want rather than need."
`
Or, to word it a shade less tactfully, no woman wants to be with these guys unless she's impoverished and desperate.
"benevolent sexism, which the study explained “is a more subtle and patronizing form of sexism that expresses adoration, paternalism, and reverence toward women who conform to gender-role norms.”"
`
A few months after I moved to North Carolina, I got a job in the administrative offices of a teaching hospital.
One day, a friend of one of the doctors (middle-aged white guy in a suit and tie) was sitting in the office telling us about how he drove six hours to bring his family's (African-American) maid/nanny to this hospital, because it was the best one, and he was not inclined to settle for anything less than the best for dear Bessie, who was "part of the family".
It somehow gave me the ick worse than if he'd insulted her.
Next time I visited family in New Jersey, I told this story to my family members, trying to figure out exactly what was wrong with it.
They all listened, and then Uncle Garlic (who looks and sounds exactly like you're picturing him, so hardly a flaming lefty), said, "That's the way you talk about a CHILD or a PET."
"leaving their 9-to-5s and making a fuckton of money baking sourdough and talking in TikTok videos about how much they just love obeying their husbands, whilst dressed like either Donna Reed or Laura Ingalls Wilder."
`
I am no expert, but all the videos like this that I've seen star young, thin, white, conventionally attractive, usually blonde, woman, wearing the kind of clothing that would get ruined if you tried to actually cook, bake, or clean house in it.
Hiee. Attempted something very nuanced. Lmk what you think?
https://lostbard.substack.com/p/letter-to-the-young-tradwives-of?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=19ba1x
"supermodel sex maid nanny therapist cheerleader" lol. My wife is Mexican. Her idea of trad wife is "dad lays down the unpopular rules after mom has told him what they will be behind closed doors while mom gives you permission to do fun stuff without his input."
Letitia Pogrebin would be so proud of you, Robyn.
Basically, when it comes to raising children, doing chores, working jobs, and (erp!) one partner going to school (🤞if all goes well), it takes each partner giving 100% for it to feel like a 50-50 split. From each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs. Men have to do more than take out the garbage and wash the dishes. Wash the children, diaper the children, read to the children, dress the children, shop for the children, take the children to extra curriculars like sports, do homework with children, feed children, listen to children, do emergency medical care with children, drive, drive, drive. People with children talk about children because children become their lives for 20 years. Even divorce doesn’t change things, it just adds visitation and lawyers.
I grew up in the 1960s, and women worked, usually in the family business, because families NEEDED THE MONEY. In big families, child care was the responsibility of older siblings. Extra chores.
You know, it is about time Mayor Mamdami came along and realized moms and dads need help with children. Even the people without children need help, but Pre-K sounds like one of those “why didn’t someone do something like this sooner?” Ideas.
Tradwife seems like the movie “The Help”, where black maids did work so that white wives could have bridge parties and use a toilet in a shed for personal hygiene. Funny how the tradwife went away when Carol Brady couldn’t find an Alice to hire anymore, and the Cartwrights couldn’t exploit Hop Sing.
You see, MAGA-voting white people? Without illegal immigrants, the Tradwife Lifestyle is not achievable.
And money? Just do it the German way, or the Hungarian way, or the Polish way, or the immigrant way. (Ask your great grandparents.). Everyone left school in 10th grade, everyone lived at home, everyone brought home their pay (And back in the 1930s and 1940s, employers paid in cash, or else bars cashed paychecks), and gave 100% to the mother, who gave money back to everyone, including father, if and when there was any, and if and when she felt like it. She paid the bills, and if money was short, she took in washing or begged for credit. And nobody complained, because the mother had a frying pan, a rolling pin, sewing scissors, and two shoes, and she knew how to use them. That is a traditional wife and mother.
These incels need to not breed, because they don’t seem to understand that women run the world, and always have. The world is going to hell right now because Hilary and Kamela aren’t running it. Ever notice how Joe Biden let Jill make the major decisions in their marriage? He ran the free world and played with the dogs, and she balanced the books and told him what time it was. Just so.
What? Weak, misogynistic, fascistic losers don’t like women? The fuck you say!
decades ago, after our mom kicked out our toxic dad, we "had a conversation" with my brother who had begun spouting "but that's WOMEN'S WORK" because he no longer wanted to help clean the dishes to do laundry.
my mom went on the "when you move out you will need to know these things".
I went with "if you learn to cook, you will never hurt for a date; she won't care if you can't afford a fancy restaurant meal but she WILL love that you care enough to cook for her, set up a nice table with candles and shit, and will wait on her hand and foot during this special date night."
He has been married to the same woman for over 20 years now and has taught all his kids how to cook (his oldest with his "starter wife" is now a doctor with the VA with two boys of her own, the two youngest are graduating college this year..."
That was a lot. And amazing. And scary. And yup…
And as someone who never took a single women’s studies course, also interesting to learn the theories of sexism.
https://thesidenote.substack.com/p/the-manosphere
I wrote a little something along these lines..
it’s always good to have a wife who will just be there for you with unconditional love when you come home from a long day at work”
Get a dog, a$sh0le
Unconditional love means the work starts when everyone gets home and stops after everyone is in bed. Then it begins again 5 hours later.(8 hours of sleep? Get real.)
95% of America is sleep deprived. Having sex when you are sleep deprived? Must have missed that page in the Kama Sutra. I just know …”Don’t come home from drinking with loving on your mind”, which is why I gave up drinking (also because it saved money.). Somebody tell thr guys looking for tradwives that they will never find them in strip clubs.
So grateful our parents never made my younger sister or myself feel we needed to be married in order to be someone. In fact, Dad told us NOT to drop out of college and get married, as a cousin did. We're both never-married childless senior citizens with cats, thank you.
Ta, Robyn. Both my hot handsome husband and I love to cook. I also love to bake; he doesn't. He's a much better housekeeper than I, and I usually wash the dishes (we always have plenty to wash what with all the cooking). We do laundry together at the nearby laundromat. When we upgrade the pied-à-nuage, we'll have a mudroom with laundry. One of my retirement goals is starting sourdough and baking with that. Of course, neither of us has children. Two cats and two dogs is plenty to care for.
It's easy enough to distinguish the hostile sexist from the benevolent sexist
Hostile sexists tend to fit the Fred Flintstone, Ralph Kramden, Al Bundy, Rickie Ricardo, and Archie Bunker stereotype.
Benevolent sexists tend to fit the Barney Rubble, George Jetson, Ed Norton, Cliff Huxtable, and Ward Cleaver stereotype.
The difficult thing is that our society tends to impose traditional gender roles upon a marriage or within a family unit. This is also linked to jobs, incomes, social expectations of people within society as a whole. "Womens Work" pays less than "Mens Work" (one reason teachers and nurses are so poorly paid); women tend to have less job opportunities than men of the same educational/economic level; employers tend to be hostile towards working mothers.
It's interesting just how much sexism and racism is baked into our society, to the point that most people don't see it when they are not subjected to it. We are weeding a yard that's full of various types of weeds; it takes a long time, but it has to be done if we hope to progress as a society.
Very crucial point you've remarked upon here: "most people don't see it when they are not subjected to it"! EXACTLY. Not seeing it is part of the definition of privilege. Seeing it is part of becoming an ally. Addressing it actively it is being an ally.
“...it’s always good to have a wife who will just be there for you with unconditional love when you come home from a long day at work.”
`
Fine, I'll take the bait.
My Mother's parents were both born and raised in dirt floored farmhouses in Italy somewhere around 1900. They came here as newlyweds, around age 20 as far as I can figure out, to a country where they did not know anybody or speak the language, and proceeded to have four kids in six years.
Grandma stayed home, took care of the house, and raised their kids. Grandpa had three jobs -- not fancy jobs, either, the kind of crap they hired immigrants for in those days because nobody else would do them. They were happily married for 70-some years, and were loving, responsible parents to their kids.
I would bet good money that not a single one of the guys who watches these podcasts is willing to step up to that level. Everybody wants a "tradwife" until it's time to be a "tradhusband".
👍👍👍
“Some women crave the focus on homemaking and child-rearing without career stress.”
`
At which point these guys will complain that boys are just too got dang "feminized" these days because Little Timmy's life is "dominated" by his Mother, woman teachers, etc., and they lack a manly influence.
I had a career. I have been an at-home-wife-and-mother. Between the two, the career was FAR less stressful. The same goes for literally every woman I know who did the same. To quote my Mom, "The crappiest job at least comes with a paycheck."
"because women don’t have to worry as much about getting pregnant and because they are economically independent, women have relationships out of want rather than need."
`
Or, to word it a shade less tactfully, no woman wants to be with these guys unless she's impoverished and desperate.
👍👍👍 make that guys who are d****, and a*******.
"benevolent sexism, which the study explained “is a more subtle and patronizing form of sexism that expresses adoration, paternalism, and reverence toward women who conform to gender-role norms.”"
`
A few months after I moved to North Carolina, I got a job in the administrative offices of a teaching hospital.
One day, a friend of one of the doctors (middle-aged white guy in a suit and tie) was sitting in the office telling us about how he drove six hours to bring his family's (African-American) maid/nanny to this hospital, because it was the best one, and he was not inclined to settle for anything less than the best for dear Bessie, who was "part of the family".
It somehow gave me the ick worse than if he'd insulted her.
Next time I visited family in New Jersey, I told this story to my family members, trying to figure out exactly what was wrong with it.
They all listened, and then Uncle Garlic (who looks and sounds exactly like you're picturing him, so hardly a flaming lefty), said, "That's the way you talk about a CHILD or a PET."
"leaving their 9-to-5s and making a fuckton of money baking sourdough and talking in TikTok videos about how much they just love obeying their husbands, whilst dressed like either Donna Reed or Laura Ingalls Wilder."
`
I am no expert, but all the videos like this that I've seen star young, thin, white, conventionally attractive, usually blonde, woman, wearing the kind of clothing that would get ruined if you tried to actually cook, bake, or clean house in it.
Cosplay.
It's cosplay.
Bingo
On the Easy Bake oven.
Girls in our family played with tools.