What is missing from the tradwife discussions is the invisible matriarchy behind the scenes that keeps those families and communities going. Mr. Anzu's family from upstate South Carolina had a lot of women who fit into the SAHM tradwife archetype, including his own mother. Within the individual family units, the family patriarch was the lord of his domain, but over the entire extended family, Great Aunt Janey (name changed to prevent doxing) was the governor. She Who Must Not Be Disobeyed. Even the men in the family would have to listen to her will. She dictated where family events would be held, and when. She settled disputes between cousins. She approved or disapproved of haircuts, dresses, baked goods. I was persona non grata to the family until she acknowledged me.
All this was done quietly. Never spoken aloud except in hushed tones. When Aunt Janey died about a decade ago, even my mother in law was prepared for the power struggle that was going to come as she or one of her own sisters-in-law would vy for the position of new matriarch. Aunt Hanna (name changed again) ultimately won the position over my MIL, although they are splitting the hostess duties because Hanna is very sickly.
The other thing the silent extended family matriarch does is afford a level of protection to the women in the family. I am not aware of any abuses that have occurred among the exctended family, because Aunt Janey would not have tolerated it, and neither would Aunt Hanna. Even my own mother in law pulled me aside at my wedding and told me quietly that if Mr. Anzu ever did anything that hurt me or made me cry, to let her know because "she raised him better than that."
Jumping into the trad wife lifestyle without the grounding of that silent matriarchy - or marrying a conservative man who didn't have that background presence looming over him - is dangerous.
(I tried the stay at home and bake cookies lifestyle for the first year of marriage to Mr. Anzu and got bored and went back to school.)
One thing about "these fellas have not spent a lot of time engaging with human women." They all had mothers, so they spent at least some time with women before deciding they were not human beings. They spent at least some time seeing their mothers and fathers interacting. I don't think they all came from broken homes, so at least some percentage had experience living in a family unit where the parents loved and respected each other. And then, of course, unless they were homeschooled, these men had some form of interaction with girls and women in school. I'd love to see if any of these studies looked at the childhoods of these men, and how their feelings about women were shaped by those experiences.
"Then they end up angry because, weirdly, most girls don’t want to date men who believe women are evil and stupid and need to obey men." Imagine them not wanting that. Will we ever understand the female psyche?
There is an old saying "Speak of the Devil, He will appear" In other words the more you talk about him the stronger he becomes. This may also apply to Trump A 24 hour news cycle with absolutely NO mention of him would probably cause him to explode!
If you watch those 50s & 60s sit coms carefully, you notice that the women wield a lot of power. They are Mother not only to their children but also to the bumbling manchild they are married to. Mom always keeps things under control despite the often hair-brained schemes her husband is constantly inventing.
You bring up an important point. How many MAGA are not MAGA by choice. I'm sure many people here are put into the uncomfortable position of not being able to express their contempt for all things Trump simply to maintain long standing family relationships I include myself in that group
oh my god, I'm an NPC. That makes perfect sense. When I deviate from my programmed answers, the protagonist freezes and can't progress. And gets pissy.
I work in a male-dominated profession and over the years have been privy to their
“private “ conversations; let’s just say if I had a nickel for every time I’d say “Then why the hell are you even still married?” I’d be retired by now. I seriously don’t get it.
My wife also works in a male dominated profession She's been able to effectively become one of "The Boys" without sacrificing her femininity. She's a better golfer and marksman than most of them, can cuss, drink, and trash talk with the best of them She invented "Beth Dutton" before Sheridan did. I love and respect her for this, as do her male colleagues.
I want a male robot who will cook, clean, water the plants, and tell me what a terrific and beautiful person I am at least once a day. In the evenings I would put him in a corner to charge.
In defense of Donna Reed, her acting chops were far better than were ever called for in the TV series. She was an Oscar winner and her performances in John Ford's "They Were Expendable" and Fred Zinneman's "From Here To Eternity" were remarkably good.
I love they were expendable., For Donna Reed. For Robert Montgomery, sure. But it’s also one of the few movies where John Wayne was an actor instead of a movie star.
John Ford had a trick. He kept Wayne pissed off during the productions by making angry demands. As a strategy it worked on films like "Stagecoach", "They Were Expendable", and above all "The Searchers". Wayne never caught on until Ford did a tell all interview.
Ford played him like a puppet. He was, in my opinion, the only director who could ever get a decent performance from an otherwise mediocre actor. Wayne owed his stardom to Ford, so he kept coming back for more.
What is missing from the tradwife discussions is the invisible matriarchy behind the scenes that keeps those families and communities going. Mr. Anzu's family from upstate South Carolina had a lot of women who fit into the SAHM tradwife archetype, including his own mother. Within the individual family units, the family patriarch was the lord of his domain, but over the entire extended family, Great Aunt Janey (name changed to prevent doxing) was the governor. She Who Must Not Be Disobeyed. Even the men in the family would have to listen to her will. She dictated where family events would be held, and when. She settled disputes between cousins. She approved or disapproved of haircuts, dresses, baked goods. I was persona non grata to the family until she acknowledged me.
All this was done quietly. Never spoken aloud except in hushed tones. When Aunt Janey died about a decade ago, even my mother in law was prepared for the power struggle that was going to come as she or one of her own sisters-in-law would vy for the position of new matriarch. Aunt Hanna (name changed again) ultimately won the position over my MIL, although they are splitting the hostess duties because Hanna is very sickly.
The other thing the silent extended family matriarch does is afford a level of protection to the women in the family. I am not aware of any abuses that have occurred among the exctended family, because Aunt Janey would not have tolerated it, and neither would Aunt Hanna. Even my own mother in law pulled me aside at my wedding and told me quietly that if Mr. Anzu ever did anything that hurt me or made me cry, to let her know because "she raised him better than that."
Jumping into the trad wife lifestyle without the grounding of that silent matriarchy - or marrying a conservative man who didn't have that background presence looming over him - is dangerous.
(I tried the stay at home and bake cookies lifestyle for the first year of marriage to Mr. Anzu and got bored and went back to school.)
Is it just me, or does Carl Betz look particularly sinister in that picture.
One thing about "these fellas have not spent a lot of time engaging with human women." They all had mothers, so they spent at least some time with women before deciding they were not human beings. They spent at least some time seeing their mothers and fathers interacting. I don't think they all came from broken homes, so at least some percentage had experience living in a family unit where the parents loved and respected each other. And then, of course, unless they were homeschooled, these men had some form of interaction with girls and women in school. I'd love to see if any of these studies looked at the childhoods of these men, and how their feelings about women were shaped by those experiences.
"Then they end up angry because, weirdly, most girls don’t want to date men who believe women are evil and stupid and need to obey men." Imagine them not wanting that. Will we ever understand the female psyche?
"WHAT DO WOMEN WANT?" Freud
HA!
There is an old saying "Speak of the Devil, He will appear" In other words the more you talk about him the stronger he becomes. This may also apply to Trump A 24 hour news cycle with absolutely NO mention of him would probably cause him to explode!
Really excellent article, Robyn.
“...it’s always good to have a wife who will just be there for you with unconditional love when you come home from a long day at work.”
Get a fucking dog, you dickweed.
On second thought, don't. I wouldn't wish you on a dog. Even a chihuahua.
Here's another fun read (still open for comments, which they allow at the NY Times, unlike here at Wonkette): https://www.nytimes.com/2026/04/02/us/household-vote-women.html?unlocked_article_code=1.X1A.J_Mf.syDrpdycNO7d&smid=url-share
If you watch those 50s & 60s sit coms carefully, you notice that the women wield a lot of power. They are Mother not only to their children but also to the bumbling manchild they are married to. Mom always keeps things under control despite the often hair-brained schemes her husband is constantly inventing.
I've always thought MAGA men hate women, and their female wives or companions or whatever know it but don't object for various reasons...
like child support, a roof over one's head, being ostracized by their MAGA community.
You bring up an important point. How many MAGA are not MAGA by choice. I'm sure many people here are put into the uncomfortable position of not being able to express their contempt for all things Trump simply to maintain long standing family relationships I include myself in that group
oh my god, I'm an NPC. That makes perfect sense. When I deviate from my programmed answers, the protagonist freezes and can't progress. And gets pissy.
There are a lot more men who hate women around than most people think.
I work in a male-dominated profession and over the years have been privy to their
“private “ conversations; let’s just say if I had a nickel for every time I’d say “Then why the hell are you even still married?” I’d be retired by now. I seriously don’t get it.
My wife also works in a male dominated profession She's been able to effectively become one of "The Boys" without sacrificing her femininity. She's a better golfer and marksman than most of them, can cuss, drink, and trash talk with the best of them She invented "Beth Dutton" before Sheridan did. I love and respect her for this, as do her male colleagues.
Closet cases of the worst type.
Look at all the men who voted against Hillary and Kamala.
"Men" loosley defined
The fertility rate drops even lower.
I want a male robot who will cook, clean, water the plants, and tell me what a terrific and beautiful person I am at least once a day. In the evenings I would put him in a corner to charge.
There are many men who fit that bill, other than the charging in a corner part. Perhaps you can find one? Also, robots really are genderless
Love is never unconditional.
In defense of Donna Reed, her acting chops were far better than were ever called for in the TV series. She was an Oscar winner and her performances in John Ford's "They Were Expendable" and Fred Zinneman's "From Here To Eternity" were remarkably good.
I love they were expendable., For Donna Reed. For Robert Montgomery, sure. But it’s also one of the few movies where John Wayne was an actor instead of a movie star.
John Ford had a trick. He kept Wayne pissed off during the productions by making angry demands. As a strategy it worked on films like "Stagecoach", "They Were Expendable", and above all "The Searchers". Wayne never caught on until Ford did a tell all interview.
Did he hide all of Wayne's Nazi memorabilia?
Ford played him like a puppet. He was, in my opinion, the only director who could ever get a decent performance from an otherwise mediocre actor. Wayne owed his stardom to Ford, so he kept coming back for more.