22 Comments
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Lefty Mark's avatar

God preordained the crucifixion and created the people who would do it, and then punished those people for carrying out His plan. Which is a total dick move. Sorry Swanson, but I'm not sure that we should trust this God guy. He sounds like a bit of a sociopath.

Lefty Mark's avatar

Funny, but none of my lit classes in high school and college ever drew any parallels between the Bard's works and Christianity. Not a hint of it even from the nuns who taught English classes in Catholic high school. This was no doubt even more evidence of the utter perversion and corruption of Western thought, probably. (Most of those classes were taught to me during that consummately sinful and blasphemous decade, the 1960s, so Q.E.D.)

Lefty Mark's avatar

Makes God sound like a bit of a dick, doesn't it? Or like a typical project or team leader in 21st century America.

π”…π”’π”’π”©π”·π”’π”Ÿπ”²π”Ÿπ”Ÿπ”ž's avatar

“homosexuality seems to accompany the rejection of the Christian order and ,”

Actually, Kev, it's the rise of humanism that leads to rejection of your lazy, idiotic beliefs.

Lefty Mark's avatar

If Swanson gets so apoplectic about Shakespeare then I cringe to think of what he must have said about Chaucer's <i>The Miller's Tale.</i>

bobbert's avatar

I thought it was instructions to the lighting crew.

Or maybe he was annoyed about a first down.

bobbert's avatar

This one should get an internet, for sure.

bobbert's avatar

Just as a data point, I tried that once. I think I might have made it to page fifty.

Vienna Woods's avatar

I just read the unabridged Little Women (god help me, it was free on Kindle), and it was Marmee's very favoritest book, and she gave each of her girls a copy for Xmas, each bound in their favorite colour, and they read them all the time and kept talking about the important lessons they learned from it. Alcott was really appallingly preachy.

Jared James's avatar

Surely the Moorish knave doth defy the law of causation anon. Perhaps we should consult Derpak Chopra on the cosmic chakra alignments necessary to comprehend god's intended meaning?

Msgr MΞ©ment classic β˜‘οΈ's avatar

So Mrs Shakespeare was the Beard of Avon?

Msgr MΞ©ment classic β˜‘οΈ's avatar

<i>"*We hope you’ll forgive us for skipping his chapters on Nietzsche, Sartre, and John Dewey"</i>

Hey! No spoilers, please!

schmannity's avatar

I blame the time-traveling Moor, Obama, for Shakespeare's apostasy.

Spotts1701, Taking Bible Guns's avatar

Sir Patrick Stewart would have words with thee, Swanson.