We've decided that we're actually rather grateful to wingnut radio preacher Kevin Swanson for writing his bizarre e-screed Apostate: The Men Who Destroyed the Christian West, which makes the case that American and European civilization have been ruined by all of our philosophy and literature. We'd be much better off, Swanson suggests, if we lived like the Puritans, only maybe with the internet so Kevin Swanson could do his podcast and sell ebooks. Why are we grateful to Kevin Swanson? Because his awful little book's awful chapter on Mark Twain finally reminded us to pick up a terrific biography of Twain's later life, Mark Shelden's
Scene 26 Act 2 from "Ken Burns' Civil War 2, The Union Strikes Back" " My dearest Isabelle," " We are encosonced here in Atlanta, waitin' for an attack by the Unitarians. Their numbers are great and I fear we will not survive the night. But, my darlin' Isabelle, though I may not survive I know you love me and I want you to know the truth. The Unitarians have joined forces with the Anababtists and the Lutherians to destroy both us and our way of life, and after they grind our bones to dust they will spread lies about us, of this I am sure." "They will say that we have preverted God's law in our practice of slavery but you know that that is not true. We have only owned slaves in the most godly way. In the same way that Jesus would have owned slaves, if he had owned slaves, but had not had the chance to own slaves, because he was only thirty-five and kinda broke when he died. Jesus couldn't afford slaves because he really didn't have a well paying job, being a messiah and all. I guess that's part of the sacrifice he made." "So I write this, in my final hours, to say to you I love you and what ever you do don't sleep with a Unitarian. They are evil liars. Please do not bed down with a Lutheran and for God's sake never ever even talk to a Jew. I must leave now my dearest Isabelle, the night is upon upon us. But just know, I love you, and I'm really not kiddin' about the Jew thing. Your dearest love, Clement"
My boss always says "biblical" when he means really, really fucked up. Plagues of Egypt fucked up, dead first-born fucked up, slay the Midianites, rape their women, make slaves of their children fucked up.
"Christians are presented in varying shades of hypocrisy and ignorance" But so is everybody -- that's part of Twain's genius, charm, and claim to modernity. But Huckleberry Finn still stands tall as a celebration of the good things people are capable of.
Not a bad idea <a href="http:\/\/images.fineartamerica.com\/images-medium-private-5\/human-christmas-tree-brian-lumley.jpg" target="_blank">in theory</a>, but it sounds like the execution left something to be desired.
<i>the kind of slavery practiced in the Bible is nothing like the evil institution in the American South,</i>
But how can that be if it is the exact word of god and not subject to any interpretation? They can&#039;t claim biblical slavery is not really slavery, then turn around and claim that biblical &quot;gay&quot; is exactly as it is today because the bibble is never wrong.
Funny how the stuff they don&#039;t like is subject to wiggle room and &quot;that&#039;s not what they really meant&quot; weasel words, while the stuff that justifies their personal bigotry is carved in stone.
I&#039;m more curious about the treatment of Thomas Jefferson, who was thoroughly humanist, had no time for religious idjits like Swanson, and made no bones about it in his writings.
Scene 26 Act 2 from &quot;Ken Burns&#039; Civil War 2, The Union Strikes Back&quot; &quot; My dearest Isabelle,&quot; &quot; We are encosonced here in Atlanta, waitin&#039; for an attack by the Unitarians. Their numbers are great and I fear we will not survive the night. But, my darlin&#039; Isabelle, though I may not survive I know you love me and I want you to know the truth. The Unitarians have joined forces with the Anababtists and the Lutherians to destroy both us and our way of life, and after they grind our bones to dust they will spread lies about us, of this I am sure.&quot; &quot;They will say that we have preverted God&#039;s law in our practice of slavery but you know that that is not true. We have only owned slaves in the most godly way. In the same way that Jesus would have owned slaves, if he had owned slaves, but had not had the chance to own slaves, because he was only thirty-five and kinda broke when he died. Jesus couldn&#039;t afford slaves because he really didn&#039;t have a well paying job, being a messiah and all. I guess that&#039;s part of the sacrifice he made.&quot; &quot;So I write this, in my final hours, to say to you I love you and what ever you do don&#039;t sleep with a Unitarian. They are evil liars. Please do not bed down with a Lutheran and for God&#039;s sake never ever even talk to a Jew. I must leave now my dearest Isabelle, the night is upon upon us. But just know, I love you, and I&#039;m really not kiddin&#039; about the Jew thing. Your dearest love, Clement&quot;
My boss always says &quot;biblical&quot; when he means really, really fucked up. Plagues of Egypt fucked up, dead first-born fucked up, slay the Midianites, rape their women, make slaves of their children fucked up.
&quot;Christians are presented in varying shades of hypocrisy and ignorance&quot; But so is everybody -- that&#039;s part of Twain&#039;s genius, charm, and claim to modernity. But Huckleberry Finn still stands tall as a celebration of the good things people are capable of.
Wait, what&#039;s off-topic about this?
Thank you, thank you, thank you. God, I needed a good laugh.
Not a bad idea <a href="http:\/\/images.fineartamerica.com\/images-medium-private-5\/human-christmas-tree-brian-lumley.jpg" target="_blank">in theory</a>, but it sounds like the execution left something to be desired.
Bad news for Swanson: Against irrelevance, the gods themselves strive in vain.
Aw, &quot;damn your eyes&quot; is the bestest compliment ever.
Ok, you win best new completely made-up word. I love &quot;Literarally&quot;.
&quot;Christians are presented in varying shades of hypocrisy and ignorance&quot;
Seems pretty true to life to me.
&quot;an American public that was unwilling to think critically and biblically&quot;
Unwilling, or unable to think in two mutually exclusive ways?
&quot;the War of Unitarian Aggression&quot; just doesn&#039;t have the same ring to it.
<i>the kind of slavery practiced in the Bible is nothing like the evil institution in the American South,</i>
But how can that be if it is the exact word of god and not subject to any interpretation? They can&#039;t claim biblical slavery is not really slavery, then turn around and claim that biblical &quot;gay&quot; is exactly as it is today because the bibble is never wrong.
Funny how the stuff they don&#039;t like is subject to wiggle room and &quot;that&#039;s not what they really meant&quot; weasel words, while the stuff that justifies their personal bigotry is carved in stone.
Wow...I have never read that. I may ask that this be read at my funeral.
I&#039;m more curious about the treatment of Thomas Jefferson, who was thoroughly humanist, had no time for religious idjits like Swanson, and made no bones about it in his writings.
So you&#039;re Catholics at heart, eh?