Super Christian Donald Trump Big Fan Of God And His Blowhard Son Jesus
The similarity is uncanny
What the hell is President Baby Hands trying to distract us from now? Wednesday morning, he tweeted a royal edict banning transgender folks from serving in the military, to which the Pentagon, Republican senators and literally everybody else replied, "What? Fuck you."
And now that trifling orange piece of shit is on Twitter again, saying "BLOBBER BLOBBER BLOBBER" about God:
The link goes to a video on the official presidential InstaCandyGram page, of Trump saying the same thing to the human pork rinds who came to his Tuesday night Hitler rally.
You know, because he's such a God-fearing, religious man.
We bring this up because after Trump tweeted it, Brian Tashman of the Right Wing Watch blog website retweeted it and flagged a 1990 interview Trump did with Playboy , where he explained what an egomaniacal blowhard Jesus Christ, Prince of Peace, really was:
How large a role does pure ego play in your deal making and enjoyment of publicity?
Every successful person has a very large ego.
Every successful person? Mother Teresa? Jesus Christ?
Far greater egos than you will ever understand.
Trump, who is an expert at Bible, is probably referring to this famous Red Letter passage from the gospels, you know, after all that gay-ass "Blessed are the meek" shit in the Beatitudes:
I’ve got to use some Tic Tacs, just in case I start kissing Mary Magdalene. You know I’m automatically attracted to beautiful — I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. I just kiss. I don’t even wait. And when you’re Jesus, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab them by the pussy. You can do anything.
Shut up, it IS TOO in the Bible, you fucking heathens.
But anyway yeah, Trump really likes that "God" character. He demands loyalty oaths and daily worship, and He even sends people to eternal suffering (THE ULTIMATE "YOU'RE FIRED!") if they disagree with Him. (At least according to hateful fundamentalist interpretations of the Good Book.) God's angels don't "recuse themselves" from following His orders, and Hecertainly doesn't have to beg some Jew named Rod Rosenstein to fire his naysayers. He simply speaks things into existence and BING BONG!
God wins so much He gets tired of winning.
As for Jesus: YOOGE EGO. TREMENDOUS. Crucified on a gold-plated cross between two Mexican rapists, some of whom were lovely people, He imagines. On the third day He rose again and it was terrific. Got so much pussy that day.
Trump, of course, has shown us the depths of his religious faith before, like when he talked about how much he likes chowing down on the Jesus crackers at church, or when he wanted to tell Sarah Palinhis favorite Bible verse, but then reconsidered because that's private information, like the contents of his tax returns. Oh, and "Two Corinthians." #NeverForgetTwoCorinthians
Anyway, the whole Playboy interview is interesting and horrifying and stupid, if you want to read it. As for yr Wonkette, we will continue serving the Lord, like our president does.
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[ Playboy but not the nakey parts so it's SFW]
It's cool, I lived in a theological seminary for some years while my Mom was studying to become a minister. Add that to an interest in ancient history, and your rant is pretty interesting! The bible as fiction based loosely on real events makes a hell of a lot more sense than "every word of this book is true and if you say otherwise you must burn!" And the sheer number of pagan elements "adopted" by Christianity creates even more evidence that the bible was basically a marketing scheme designed to convince heathens. I'm also at least 75% sure that if the Romans had not invaded Gaul and Britannia, Christianity would not be such a dominant religion today, since France and England pretty well had most of the globe conquered at one point, and they brought their religion with them.
Unpossible, so I'll actually own what I say. This will immediately reveal my political party. However, that doesn't take any courage in my town.
I may up the ante with a hat.