Super Creeper! Tabs, Fri., Aug. 1, 2025

Morning news roundup! Things to read!

Tabs grrrrr-eat! gif by your friend Martini Glambassador!

Good morning, read some shit!

A timeline of Trump being a super fucking creeper at prepubescent girls, alongside his best friend of decades, Jeffrey Epstein. (Leland Nally)

ICE is promoting the goons who smash people’s car windows out, as expected. (Pro Publica)

Mexican President Claudia Sheinbaum is demanding her people be returned to her from the whimsically nicknamed Florida concentration camp. (The Guardian)

These two guys just got confirmed to the Office of Legal Counsel (well, one got confirmed, the other didn’t need to), and that’s how they’re going to ban abortion nationwide. (Balls & Strikes)

Texas hearings on the Hill Country floods. Looks like Kristi Noem succeeded: Everybody’s so mad at FEMA now, and it shouldn’t be fixed but must be “abolished.” Plus a whole bunch of people saying it warn’t their fault. (KUT / Liveblog at KXAN)

Good reporting on Trump’s forgotten housing green energy funding freeze. (Heatmap)

Hey remember when History’s Greatest Monster Michelle Obama said “hey kids, let’s eat more fruit and move some”? Anyway, here’s some fucking thing about Robert F. Kennedy Jr. inviting Big Tech to track how fast your ass is growing. (AP)

The chicken media industrial complex. (Nieman Lab writeup / Free Press (not Bari Weiss’s Free Press)

I meant to give you this one before I went on vacation, but I did not give you this one before I went on vacation. Chicken? New York Times isn’t chicken so much as fuck that’s racist! (Michael Harriot)

Okay, Candace Owens’s bullshit about Emmanuel Macron’s wife, Brigitte — she says Brigitte is her own transitioned brother, just like Dustin Hoffman as “Edward Kimberly” in Tootsie — is completely immune to any kind of “fact.” That girl in trouble. (The Week)

More fuckedly, Florida AG is demanding a list of names of everyone who performed at or attended a (perfectly legal, it should go without saying) restaurant drag show. (EFF)

Baltimore is killing it, by which I mean Baltimore is not killing it! (Popular Info)

Damn Louisa May Alcott made so much money! Anyway, this is about her stories about work (for which she made about $80,000 in today’s money. Damn!) and her feminist theories on labor. Fuckin wokie, love her so much :) (New Yorker)

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WONKMEET in CLEVELAND with me, Shy, and Cleveland’s newest resident, Ziggy Wiggy! Aug. 16, 1 p.m. at the Boss Dog Brewing Company, 2179 Lee Rd., Cleveland Heights, OH 44118. I’m buying!

What time is it? It’s time to IMPEACH!

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