Supposed Adults Matt Gaetz, Kevin McCarthy Reenact The Sillier Parts Of Every Teen Movie You've Seen

Kevin McCarthy Speaker hell update!

The Republican Fourth Grade House Majority has adjourned for a two-day recess and Barely Speaker Kevin McCarthy and sentient oil slick Matt Gaetz are about to throw down on the playground.

Monday evening, Gaetz dropped the hammer on his longtime foe and filed a motion to vacate the speakership against McCarthy, who once again defied the nihilist wing of his party and passed a major bill with Democratic votes. Sure, working with House Democratic leader Hakeem Jeffries helped avert a catastrophic global default and now a pointless, but costly, government shutdown. However, Gaetz feels personally betrayed, because apparently he’s just in this for the chaos and disorder.

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Sunday, Gaetz told CNN's Jake Tapper, “I think we need to rip off the Band-Aid. We need to move on with new leadership that can be trustworthy … the one thing everybody has in common is that nobody trusts Kevin McCarthy.”

And everyone thinks Gaetz is a scumbag. That’s probably worse.

Rep. Eli Crane — of “colored people” fame — jumped on Gaetz’s bandwagon, posting “Let’s roll!” on social media. Part of McCarthy’s desperate concessions to win the speakership involved approving a motion to vacate from just a single disgruntled House member. He handed a loaded pistol to this smarmy monkey, so it was only a matter of time before Gaetz pulled the trigger.

House leaders must now schedule a vote on the resolution within two legislative days. It’s not like they have anything better to do. Theoretically, there are multiple procedural motions that McCarthy supporters could use to hasten or stop this process, but in practice, they are likely to fail like most of McCarthy’s attempts to do anything. It would require only a simple House majority to take away his gavel.

Gaetz would actually just need a half dozen or so of the original holdouts against McCarthy to vote for removal. McCarthy shouldn’t expect Democrats to save him, as the global economy doesn’t depend on whether McCarthy keeps his job. Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez said last weekend she’d “absolutely” support removing McCarthy. However, she’s also not opposed to negotiating with him, especially since McCarthy is so bad at it.

“I certainly don’t think that we would expect to see [Democrats save McCarthy] unless there’s a real conversation between the Republican and Democratic caucuses and Republican/Democratic leadership about what that would mean, but I don’t think we give up votes for free,” she said.

Democrats are more organized and disciplined than Republicans, but so is a bag of drunk hyenas. Minority Whip Katherine Clark had advised her caucus to prepare for a potential motion to vacate, in which case Democrats would collectively strategize how to respond. Clark is no friend of McCarthy and even agrees with Gaetz about his overall perfidy.

“The bad thing for Kevin McCarthy is that he is untrustworthy,” she said on MSNBC Monday, referring directly to how McCarthy reneged on his good-faith agreement with President Joe Biden to raise the debt limit.

“They made a deal, Kevin McCarthy signed that deal, 314 of us voted to approve it in a bipartisan way. The ink wasn’t dry before Kevin McCarthy was back to catering to the extremists,” she said. “That is what he does. Because his focus is about keeping his speakership and not about making progress for Americans at home.”

Gaetz told Tapper that Democrats should provide the votes to oust McCarthy “for free,” and Tapper was professional enough to maintain a straight face while in the presence of such rank idiocy. This fool has no idea how deals or “leverage” work. Clark has recently suggested that Democrats might save the sniveling McCarthy but only if he ends the sham impeachment inquiry into Joe Biden. It’s unlikely McCarthy would accept those terms, and even if he did, there’s no reason Democrats should actually believe McCarthy would keep his word. Clark’s no dummy. She’s just presenting a more than reasonable offer that McCarthy is too spineless to accept.

Democratic Rep. Gerry Connolly from Virginia is also not interested in helping McCarthy. He said last night, “Upon examination, I do not understand what any Democrat would find of redeeming value to allow him to persist in the speakership. We should not enable, aid or abet his continuation in office.”

Damn.

Gaetz ranted on the House floor for a while before finally delivering his motion to vacate, and while most of what he said isn’t worth repeating, he did accidentally make a true statement:

“It is going to be difficult for my Republican friends to keep calling President Biden ‘feeble’ while he continues to take Speaker McCarthy’s lunch money in every negotiation.”

Indeed. Reportedly, after Gaetz left this low-rent comedy stage, the Democratic side of the House “erupted in laughter,” which is the only reasonable response to Matt Gaetz.

[Independent / CBS News]

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