179 Comments

My town relies on red light cameras everywhere to make up the holes in the budget.

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Hills???? Hills????? Nothing but precipices! Thanks, Obama!?!!!??!!11!!!!

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booH nidoЯ

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One would think Justice Thomas would be particularly sensitive to issues of seized property, what with the precedent set by the Emancipation Proclamation in that regard.

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Jack be nimble,Jack be a dick,Jack can tailor his stupid non-comment to fit any narrative, thank you very much.

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Remember the good old days when the accused was innocent until proven guilty? Now the standard is innocent until declared guilty by a Fox News bimbo.

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Unfortunately, Grandma got her insurance from Panda. While it's cheaper than shit, it's also shit when it comes to doing anything for her..

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Right? That's one of the most acute and cutting bits of comedy ever devised.

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I had a friend who was convicted of possession for two seeds and a stem in her car when the punishment was a year in jail and a thousand dollar fine.

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*coffee spew*

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Or, during assembly, you could leave off the last two sections and hang it on your front door all year long.

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Oh, honey, if there's one thing I've learned in life, it's that things can ALWAYS get worse.

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For all you know, Scalia was copying HIS homework all along.

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I feel dumb. I couldn't figure out why you guys were mocking him for 5 minutes.

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"excavation"?

::googles::

"Peaceful nuclear explosions - Wikipedia"

Hunh.

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I believe its called "parenting" or something.

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