641 Comments
User's avatar
Sherry's avatar

“these are not the people I interviewed, they are merely a shell of their original selves.”

I bought them! Why Wong they stay bought!

Okay so here’s the NEXT plan. Holey Mike will refuse to swear in the winners 1/3. Lawyers are preparing to fight that next fight.

RocktonSam's avatar

So just vote early and in person.

Find a ride . Walk ,crawl . Vpte.

jaspersdad's avatar

Report Finds Global Deterioration in Democracy—With US Under Trump Named ‘Patient Zero’

https://www.commondreams.org/news/us-and-democracy

Hamilton & The Crew TEAM ALGAE's avatar

We need to redact the parasites.

GH Swell's avatar

“Golly, we’d sure like to know how the radical Left managed to bully the poor rightwing majority on the Court to do our biddin”

*rolls up sleeves, sits on empty upturned milk crate, light of trash fire in rusty sieve like oil barrel twinkles in eyes, shadows of the guard rail dance against the back end of the caboose, raises arms wide,”

“Well,… first we [REDACTED] with a [REDACTED] on [REDACTED] in a [REDACTED] and then [REDACTED] and [REDACTED] and [REDACTED] before [REDACTED].”

GH Swell's avatar

But to be honest the last time we did that was 1947.

Khavrinen's avatar

Oh, wonderful, measles & polio & cyclospora weren't enough for the science-denying MAGAt dumbasses, now we're getting an upswing in rabies, too:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUZbUZJWM-Y

EyeQueue's avatar

And this is why I had the rabies series after my neighbor's dog attacked and bit me and the state gives them 10 days to cough up vaccination records.

You can't wait 10 days to start the series.

The whole world has gone insane.

Within a generation, at this rate, people will start burning witches again. Science will be witchcraft.

Martin Shobe's avatar

Don't forget leprosy.-Florida.

SkeptiKC's avatar

I HATE this fucked up timeline SO fucking much.

Hamilton & The Crew TEAM ALGAE's avatar

Andromeda Strain is next year, I'm sure.

gallbladder's avatar

I don't think we have that long.

PropellerVigo's avatar

Ooh, how about that Prometheus slime? That'd be fun.

Linoleum von Curmudgeon, Esq.'s avatar

What's this shit about having to put down a $5 deposit to buy a single $1 coin with donnie's pic on it? If you don't return the coin by a due date you lose the deposit? You can take the asshole out of the landlord business but you'll never get the landlord out of the asshole.

Alternative Dog's avatar

I have some $1 Sacagawea coins that I will happily sell for $3 each. I charge a premium because they don't have Trump's image.

gallbladder's avatar

BONUS: The coin is irredeemable. Everywhere.

Just like fuckface himself.

noname's avatar

I'm mildly curious about who's writing that lengthy trump posting; what's the going theory, for anyone who's interested (no real reason to be)?

irish379's avatar

that was Herr Miller. the vocabulary is always the tell. "cajole", " incalculable" ?

chascates's avatar

So now the Supreme Court building will torn down by Trump as it is dangerous decrepit.

The Kennedy Center just voted to close the building immediately!!!!

gallbladder's avatar

And replaced with what, a ball pit?

Jesus Fucking Christ on a condom.

Toomush Expectashuns's avatar

The "Ow My Balls" Theatre?...

Hamilton & The Crew TEAM ALGAE's avatar

It will be made into a very deep bunker but with no ceiling.

VaselineHabits's avatar

Fuck it, close DC down. Not like we have a functioning government anyway

Hamilton & The Crew TEAM ALGAE's avatar

DC needs to be shutdown just so that it can be sage smudged and de-stinked.

Tia Loca's avatar

There’s no way they’re gonna be able to fix just what he’s done in the White House for the next president, they swap all of that out while the swearing in goes on.

I say get our new democratic president a new beautiful place maybe in California.

Start over another place.

And tear Trump’s crap down.

Linoleum von Curmudgeon, Esq.'s avatar

So anyway....I'm done dancing and have sat back down.

Anyone got a brief summary and history of what this shadow docket is, how it came to be and the reason I never heard of it until this particular shitshow with John Roberts? Did he ORIGINATE it out of notions of concepts of plans to destroy the nation? Or did he just kowtow to Heritage?

gallbladder's avatar

With 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 crew? I wouldn't go further than a lucky guess.

And some lukewarm coffee.

josephebacon's avatar

AG Todd Blanche just defended Trump's comments about the court, saying the president has an absolute right to criticize justices individually when they rule against him, while praising them when they rule in his favor.

This apparently is the rule now.

https://bsky.app/profile/lawrencehurley.bsky.social/post/3mvlalzs6kc2z

Rags's avatar

That's the sound of TFG's transactional authoritarianism whooshing over Blanche 's head.

VaselineHabits's avatar

I want Blanche in prison

Zyxomma's avatar

So say we all.

josephebacon's avatar

Everyone can relax because God has assured Trump cultist MAGA pastor Hank Kunneman that "the gas prices are going to go down, down, down, down, down."

https://bsky.app/profile/josephebacon.bsky.social/post/3mvlcr5ssx22z

Uh...someone tell Pulpit Pimp Wanky Hanky that the price of gasoline and diesel ain't going down for quite a while thanks to President Poopy Pants and Drunk Ass Pete!

Shallow state's avatar

Near as I can tell, god has some mighty big smiting backlogs to attend to before taking on Amoco pricing strategies.

Toomush Expectashuns's avatar

Now that is one grifty mafia preacher!...

Hamilton & The Crew TEAM ALGAE's avatar

The gas prices will go down after the next scheduled Rapture, or after Trump wins the midterms. Maybe after both.

SkeptiKC's avatar

With these corrupt crooks in charge gas rationing is something we can all look forward to.

Toomush Expectashuns's avatar

and the price of "exemptions"...

VaselineHabits's avatar

Only heard horror stories about it (70s?)... so yay...

irish379's avatar

lived through it. there were a couple of times where the station shut down before I made it to the pumps. and back then self serve was non existent

Russell Jones's avatar

OT: The campaign of Colorado GOP gubernatorial nominee and all-around maniac Victor "I killed a man when I was seven years old" Marx is, unsurprisingly, a gargantuan grift.

https://www.cpr.org/2026/09/14/victor-marx-campaign-finance-testimony-finishes/

Marx's lolyer complains that our campaign finance laws are just so darn complicated that it's tough to find a "Cracker Jack" accountant to navigate them for you! And the state hasn't even begun looking into the shamelessly transparent grift that is the Marx campaign's online merch store.

To quote Kyle Clark, our top political reporter:

>>Victor Marx's campaign is navigating campaign finance law with the skill and grace of a head-first fall down a spiral staircase.<<

Gammarae's avatar

and having fallen on my head on a spiral castle staircase in denmark recently, i can tell you that is pretty damned graceful (not).

Hamilton & The Crew TEAM ALGAE's avatar

"GOP goobernatorial nominee" FTFY!! HTH!!

theCryptofishist's avatar

You find "Cracker Jack" accountants in boxes of Cracker Jack.

Duh!

josephebacon's avatar

He really meant "KKKraKKKer Jack"!

"M"'s avatar

WE TRIED TO TELL YOU

The US Government Gave Your Voting History To ICE. Expect Voter Intimidation At The Polls

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KBPGncKpb8s

SkeptiKC's avatar

Such polls may not last much longer after all of the shooting starts.

"M"'s avatar

"polls" as in "physical polling stations"

Not "polls" as in "questionnaires"

SkeptiKC's avatar

Those were precisely what I was referring to.

Hamilton & The Crew TEAM ALGAE's avatar

Let's watch the world burn down and oh by the way, please help me load this bong.

gallbladder's avatar

It's certainly well within reach.

"M"'s avatar

it's already here

WE TRIED TO TELL YOU

The US Government Gave Your Voting History To ICE. Expect Voter Intimidation At The Polls

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KBPGncKpb8s

josephebacon's avatar

Just waiting to see how the New York Times is going to sanewash all of this insanity from Poopy Pants and his stooges today…

Hank Napkin's avatar

SUCCINCT

The trans CIA official ousted by Trump: ‘We’re a government crippled by its own decisions’ -- The Guardian

Ambiance Chaser's avatar

Lucky for Putin his agent can carry out simple instructions.

Imagine his frustrations with "but, how can I destroy America ?" . . .

theCryptofishist's avatar

Once again, he inadvertently tells teh truth.

gallbladder's avatar

I'm gonna need a minute...

[breaks out cask of absinthe with Red]

Our_Man_In_Redneckistan's avatar

Your timing is eerie. I was just getting up to pour my aperitif.

SkeptiKC's avatar

You people have so much class.

I'm sitting here swilling a beer and smoking a bowl while glaring homicidally at various news headlines.

Our_Man_In_Redneckistan's avatar

I’m sitting here in shorts that have been missing their button for six years.

noname's avatar

Your shorts had buttons? Fancy!

gallbladder's avatar

You're in.

[affords the good lady a triple-absinthe smoothie]

theCryptofishist's avatar

Is she opening tonight's show?

gallbladder's avatar

Better: She's floor director tonight. I want to see her handle Spiro Agnew and Mao.