625 Comments
User's avatar
Colbert Thorenson's avatar

Was I wrong to take him at his word when he said his blatantly white nationalist tattoo was really just something-something about knights he picked up as a lark at a renaissance fest?

Joe Bacon's avatar

Criswell Bacon has a feeling that Trump and Drunk Ass Pete are gonna bomb the hell out of Kharg Island tomorrow to draw attention away from the No Kings rallies….

lordpnut's avatar

Doesn't the use of surelypetes violate the Geneva convention?

satch's avatar

The thing that finally takes TFG down will be when the Rich Scum formerly known as the oligarchs decide that he's just too much of an albatross.

Joe Bacon's avatar

"IRAN...IF YOU ARE LISTENING...RELEASE ALL OF THE EPSTEIN AND RUSSIA FILES YOU HACKED..."

Goin Green's avatar

Or he can no longer keep the Epstein files secret... then "the kid on the gym" won't miss and make his SS agent have to blade his ear with a razor blade.

2Cats2Furious's avatar

Or an enterprising cheeseburger…

Garbageman's avatar

OT . . . no comment . . . whatever 🙄 . . .

Acyn @Acyn

Pergram: If you were to accept what the Senate passed, this could end tonight and the TSA lines would shrink

Johnson: I wouldn’t call John Thune the engineer of this

Pergram: He propounded this on the floor

Johnson: Schumer and the Democrats forced this on the Senate

Pergram: He didn’t have to accept it

4:12 PM · Mar 27, 2026

https://xcancel.com/Acyn/status/2037623818068557886

Smoke O'Possum's avatar

*runs in*

The bar next door just opened!

*runs out*

lordpnut's avatar

Sometimes you eat the bar, and sometimes it serves you a drink.

*runs out*

Baconzgood's avatar

So POTUS TACO chose someone whose highest rank who was a Major in the National Guard to decied who and can and cannot be a General? Good luck.

Oh.

Baconz Ma told him that she heard that "Trump's son had an MRI and has bone spurs" and therefore can't serve.

IS SHE FUCKIN' BACONZ? She says stuff like to pull my leg (no pun intended)....but is it true?

Joe Bacon's avatar

Barron got a deferment because he had the same thing ol' Flush Limbaugh had--Anal Cysts...😈

satch's avatar
19mEdited

Barron got a pass because he's allegedly 6'9", although without the bone spurs he's only 6'2".

lordpnut's avatar

"I didn't know they stacked shit that high. Are you trying to squeeze an inch in on me?"

- DI Hartman, FULL METAL JACKET

Snarfyguy's avatar

Nah, that was Andy Borowitz trying for satire.

Baconzgood's avatar

She had me goin'. 84 years old....still lucid enough to screw with me. More importantly she does my taxes.

I bought it enough to ask. Shit. Baconz Ma....

Free beach's avatar

Bad case of affluenza

Baconzgood's avatar

See. That is why I dont buy it. Who gets a CT scan on their feet? I could look it up but as Abraham Lincoln said in 1855 "The internet cant be trusted"

zuludaddy (seam & key)'s avatar

wonket! it here! yrrrrrrr

smoking lamp

is lit [HEREBY! FOR THE DURATION OF THE WEEKEND!]

and heeeeeere's yr Hoop nao too and also!

SethTriggs's avatar

People, let's not lose sight of why this happens:

Merit, in this MAGA ethos, only means that you don't have too much melanin or any lady-parts.

These are values that are enshrined in the ethnonationalist, racist, transnational syndicate that is the Republican Party.

And 77 million Americans + share those values. That is why they installed a 34-count felonious, illiterate, gibbering sex pest of a predator as our pricktator. Because those were the important things to ignore, so that they could return us to the social order of the 1860s. That is what the 77 million really care about. That's why they are completely useless as the pricktator skullfucks the economy. He is hurting the minorities they hate.

That's why they continue to vote for a party which, through its unreconstructed state-based regimes of terror, seeks to unperson a tiny minority of trans people in the most cruel ways.

satch's avatar

More than 77 million. Those were just the ones who bothered to get off their asses and vote. They're the Worst Of The Worst.

Joe Bacon's avatar

And MAGA says you got to be a born-again Xtian too!

M-X's avatar
28mEdited

As I now call them, hat tip to Seth, "Unreconstructed Motherfuckers"

Joe Bacon's avatar

Just like ol' Rev. Franky Graham Cracker who preached at CPAC yesterday saying that Gawd's Anointed King must be re-elected to a 3rd term in 2028 'cause Jesus says so!

lmurr's avatar

Which Rapist Pedophile Wiuld Jesus Choose.

WRPWJC. I'm going to start selling little bracelets to the religious nutballs.

swmnguy's avatar

OT: Man, traders on the New York Mercantile Exchange have been doing everything but standing on their heads to keep West Texas Intermediate Crude (the US oil price benchmark) below $100.

The free ticker I see is delayed 10 minutes, but it's sitting at $99.99 right now (ten minutes ago).

Time to refresh...

$99.92. They punched it back down.

Refresh...

$99.86.

Whatevs. It's right about $100. If it closes over that level, the difference is symbolic and psychological only. With that and the major indices pooping their pants today, especially NASDAQ at -2.15%; it doesn't look like Wall Street is All-In on this TACO trade today.

As usual, wait to see what market manipulation lurks over the weekend, but no need to keep too close an eye on it until about 7:00 AM EDT Monday.

Joe Bacon's avatar

🎶gonna party like it's $99.99 again!🎶

Uncle Betamax's avatar

*Dances to "Gone Guru"*

Sorry, just bought a bungalow. Not quite at home to reality right now.

W00t. I have a garden. Finally I have a garden.

Caepan's avatar

Welcome to the last stage of adulthood - going into massive debt just to keep a roof over your head. Enjoy telling kids to keep off of YOUR lawn!

swmnguy's avatar

That's great! I was tickled pink when I could finally get a house and get a garden going.

TerseNurse's avatar

Congratulations!!

Uncle Betamax's avatar

Got some lawyering to do before I get the keys.

But I have such plans.

Linda1961 is proudly woke's avatar

"What’s a little harder to believe is that two separate people would suggest that Trump was neither sexist nor racist, as he very obviously is,"

Yes, Dipshit obviously is sexist and racist, but he's also very stupid, and thinks that he has us fooled. The officers making that claim may have been extremely naive, OR using psychology. When they expressed their belief that Dipshit isn't sexist or racist, the regime had to allow General Gant her deserved promotion, or he would look like he truly is - racist and sexist.

Underdawg23's avatar

From Facebook:

Hegseths blood is 98% ethanol tap them veins draw baby draw

Uncle Betamax's avatar

Yeah, but it's the cheapest bathtub gin. It'll take enamel off 1950s dentures.

Joe Bacon's avatar

Well gang shall we take a peep at the Dow right now?

UH-OH! Looks like Mr. Dow faw down and go boom today...

Cincinnatus's avatar

Nobody thought it would get there so fast!

satch's avatar
30mEdited

Does this mean that Pammy Jo will have to answer questions now instead of telling us all what we SHOULD be talking about?

Joe Bacon's avatar

Oh of course not! Axis Pammy will continue to lie her evil ass off!

TerseNurse's avatar

nah, it's still right there at 50,000. (rounding to the nearest 10,000)

(barely)

UVB-76's avatar

Owwie ouchers!!

ciaobella's avatar

I thought we were going supposed to be getting tired of all the winning

Investors Are Losing Patience With the War in Iran

The S&P 500 is on course for its fifth straight week of losses and its worst weekly losing streak in roughly four years.

Free beach's avatar

The slow realization that we are fucked.

Snarfyguy's avatar

"Ride the derp."

UVB-76's avatar

Buncha pussies.

VaselineHabits's avatar

For 4 years... hum, what was that about?

satch's avatar

"Show some guts!"

Saviour of Bread's avatar

Nighters sheeple, be kind.

But first; your palate cleanser.

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/ce9m0y3351po

UVB-76's avatar

Nighters, and thanks for the pics!