Surprise! Donald Trump Already Built WALL, *And* Mexico Paid For It!

Best president EVER!

President Grandpa is on the Twitter Machine again this morning, proclaiming we can open up the government if only Congress will spend $5 billion on WALL, which, by the way, has been fully paid for by Mexico and is in fact already   built. 

So yes, Trump's miraculous minor tweaks to NAFTA, which haven't been passed by Congress (and may never actually pass), will magically extract all the funding needed for WALL, because Trump is a wizard!!!11 Now, if you want to get all technical about it, if there are any economic benefits from the new trade deal, they'll go to corporations doing international trade, not to the Treasury. Can't even say those profits will pay off in increased revenue through taxes, since the corporate tax rate was cut. Not that Trump even gave that much thought to it -- money is magic, and all he needs is to say Mexico is "paying" for WALL, not for Mexico to actually pay for WALL. It is kind of like The Secret, we guess.

As to the thing about how much of WALL has already been built or renovated, that's simply an extension of a bunch of old Trump lies from his rallies and tweets. He likes to talk about existing border fences -- and sometimes the few sections of WALL prototypes unveiled last year near San Diego -- as if that was the great big beautiful solid wall he promised during the 2016 campaign. This is because he is a liar.

Trump said pretty much the same bullshit when he met with Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi in December:

One thing that I do have to say is: Tremendous amounts of wall have already been built, and a lot of — a lot of wall. When you include the renovation of existing fences and walls, we've renovated a tremendous amount and we've done a lot of work. In San Diego, we're building new walls right now. And we've — right next to San Diego, we've completed a major section of wall and it's really worked well.

And of course that was mostly bullshit -- he really can't take credit for stuff near San Diego that was planned in 2009, or for that matter fencing that originally went up during the George W. Bush administration. But of course he will, because otherwise he'd look pretty damned silly, wouldn't he, like in 2017 when he took credit for no planes ever crashing. Heck, maybe Trump will put his own money into WALL and run it as well as his casinos.

Donald Trump's insistence that we're almost finished building WALL (which hasn't actually started) and so we simply need a leeeedle bit more for the gold-plated toilets and other fiddly bits reminds us of the financial acumen of Jim Bakker, who kept begging PTL supporters to fund new projects at Heritage USA, while actually throwing the money into paying debts for previous, unfinished projects (and bonuses for himself, Tammy, and his best pals in PTL management).

In conclusion, we look forward to Donald Trump's emergency Rapture freeze-dried food buckets, coming soon to an obscure cable channel you didn't know you were paying for. Or maybe Mexico already paid for it.

[ WaPo / NPR / Roll Call ]

Yr Wonkette is funded by you, the readers, and we wouldn't have it any other way! Click below to send us money!