The Cat That Ate The Canary! Tabs, Mon., May 20, 2024

Morning news roundup!

Who earned a week of cat pix? NOT YOU! But who’s the softie who’s giving them to you anyway? Obviously me :D ! Gif by your friend Martini Glambassador!

Trump will only debate Biden now if he agrees to a drug test. No, Trump thinks Biden’s on drugs. (Jeff Tiedrich)

The stock market consistently performs better under Democrats than under Republicans. You’d think people who care about money would have noticed by now! In the same column, Samuel Alito’s upside down “stop the steal” was worse than we knew? How’s that possible? (Heather Cox Richardson)

God bless Sen. Elizabeth Warren, still killing it! Or in the first anecdote in this ode to her, unkilling it, after the bipartisan FAA funding bill killed a Pete Buttigieg rule that forced airlines to automatically refund passengers for canceled flights. Aw and yay, re the SCOTUS CFPB ruling: “It was vintage Warren. After the decision came down, Warren hustled over to the Court steps and, summoning up all of her senatorial dignity, said, ‘Woo-Hoo!’” AND she’s working on legislation to get private equity out of hospitals and healthcare? Ma’am yes ma’am! (The American Prospect)

Speaking of EDubs, I have mentioned before that I’ve become one of those credit card weirdos who’s obsessed with points and sign up bonuses and holding off paying my bill until it’s due so I can stick the money in a high yield savings account for an extra two weeks a month, and nonsense like that. Delightfully, the “churning” community on reddit is constantly siccing the CFPB on banks that don’t fork over their sign up bonuses — it’s like their first move: “file CFPB complaint,” and apparently it works every time. The banks quickly apologize and hand them a check. Here’s why you should be doing credit card stuff if you’re a person who can handle them without going apeshit on spending. (Credit Paradise)

Union bug bites Disney cast members and parade performers. Congratulations all of you! (AP)

California Assemblyman Anthony Rendon says fuck your out of control Airbnb cleaning list. (Politico)

The only thing I get from this column about Our Coarsening Political Discourse is that Mitch Albom has a job writing about … politics I guess? … and never bothered to learn that “basket of deplorables” is not even the fuck what Hillary Clinton said, Jesus Christ man. (Detroit Free Press)

How the Flint water lawsuit helped pave the way for the constitutional right to bodily autonomy in Michigan’s abortion case! (Freep)

The very very very very bad New Orleans cop. (Longreads)

A rare free edition of Kareem Abdul-Jabbar’s substack, this one has country music (!), thoughts on sexism in beauty pageants, words for Lindsey Graham and Trump, and some extra huffing at Kristi Noem’s anti-government gibberish. God bless Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, what an interesting fellow!

EEP! Iranian leader’s helicopter crashed, and rescuers are speeding to where it’s “believed to be.” (AP) Should there be further news about this between my now (Sunday morning) and your now (Monday morning), you will have to learn it elsewhere, because I’m doing tabs early so I can see your beautiful Torontoan faces at our Wonkette party! Which was my today and your yesterday! Update I’m awake Monday morning: He died!

Speaking of Toronto omg we went to Medieval Times for Shy’s birthday (it’s today! your today!) and Donna Rose was a combination of that little girl meeting Hillary Clinton AND the girls at 1964 The Beatles AND Animal from the Muppets on the drums, and thus was she given the Blue Knight’s favour as his most Specialeth Lady, and you can’t tell from these pictures but oh no, she might have actually died.

It was really fun!

Also really fun was TORONTO PARTY! Thirteen or maybe 15 of you came, some from hours away, and we all stayed and drank forever, I did not get pictures of everyone, it was great. We haven’t had a party this big in actual ages, we’re back!

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