659 Comments
User's avatar
Ward From Cali's avatar

Orange cat energy discovers ice is slippery.

Alternative Dog's avatar

"I meant to do that."

Menotsure's avatar

Break dancin' is quite a skill

That's very cool and nice

But it's not nearly half as cool

As when you break the ice.

Monsieur Grumpe's avatar

Skatey Cat.

Teen Laqueefa's avatar

What are they feeding you?

Skatey cat, Skatey cat

It's not your fault.

weejee's avatar

Future hickey player!

TootsStansbury 🇺🇦's avatar

Triple Klutz!

The Wanderer's avatar

Breakdancing kitty! (yes, I know someone's already posted this, but Comments Are Not Allowed)

Froglooksfunny's avatar

Ice, ice baby!

Shocktreatment's avatar

"I meant to do that!"

Linda1961 is woke and proud's avatar

My score: 9.75/10. Slight wobble on the landing, otherwise, perfection for Kitty!

NatalyaResists's avatar

Cats. Their tops are made out of rubber; their bottoms are made out of springs.

Toomush Expectashuns's avatar

but the most wonderful thing about cats? - they're little...!

NatalyaResists's avatar

I love those squishy faces.

satch's avatar

With razor blades for toes.

Kay Ducky's head hurts's avatar

Rainier Wolfcastle voice: "Ze claws, zey do nothink!"

Kay Ducky's head hurts's avatar

Just try licking it until you get to the center?

Teen Laqueefa's avatar

That cat's break dancing!

Suzie Greenburg's avatar

She's amazing!

PrimerGray's avatar

I was going to say, it would have taken bronze at the Olympics this year.

Kirsty Gnome-Poledance Himmler's avatar

Wanted: President with higher IQ

“There could be a problem, you’ve been reading about that, with Treasuries,” Trump said. “That could be an interesting problem because it could be that a lot of those things don’t count. Therefore maybe we have less debt than we thought of.”

The G-7 Experience's avatar

Hawley? 'Trail of Tears'???? Dog head with question mark above it. gif

AthenaH2SO4's avatar

Can any Wonkets calm me down? On Monday, it will be day 21 after filing tax returns, and so far the "where's my refund" page still just shows it as "processing". Should I start selling plasma? I really don't know. I've already re-promoted our old GFM just in case, but I'm trying to not freak out. Maybe if I start writing more on my Substack? I'm just not doing well right now. My only work experience is in the service industry, and I cannot mentally handle that right now - I'm working on certification for a new career, but that takes time.

Satanic Pancake's avatar

Death squad Donnie is actually alliterative.

Wookiee Monster's avatar

Bobby Brain Worm has been confirmed as HHS Secretary. Get your vaccines now while they’re still legal.

Kirsty Gnome-Poledance Himmler's avatar

RFK Jr.’s Confirmation Hailed By National Alliance of Funeral Directors

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Robert F. Kennedy, Jr.’s confirmation as Health and Human Services Secretary on Thursday received a rousing thumbs-up from some of his most prominent supporters, the National Alliance of Funeral Directors.

“For years, the funeral industry has suffered as a result of the Democratic Party’s unabashed anti-death agenda,” the group said in an official statement. “We are confident that Secretary Kennedy will make death great again.”

But the confirmation drew a less enthusiastic reaction from one of Kennedy’s detractors, the worm who spent several years feasting on his brain.

“As a worm, you’d expect me to be pro-death,” the worm said. “But this is insane.”

In a more muted comment, Dr. Mehmet Oz said, “Well, at least I won’t be the biggest quack in the government.”

Ekim's avatar

The corporations want the government crippled so that the corporations are bigger and stronger than the government and can ignore or override safety rules, ignore trade regulations, and pay no taxes.

Now the corporations have captured control of the government.

Their $50 billion campaign will reap trillions in profit.

And the nation slips towards a feudal state.

Karen Scofield's avatar

Hot stack, coffee and Tab's in the morning ☕💯👍

Disgruntled Witch's avatar

Why do billionaires need tax breaks?

Erika's avatar

I am GenX and I was weaned on Russia is our enemy. The news yesterday about the phone call between Trump and Putin not only makes my blood boil, but fills me with sorrow for the Ukrainian people. I am sick.

Cincinnatus's avatar

Re: TABS above, on Josh Hawley:

"ST. LOUIS – Billions of dollars for medical research remain up in the air for institutions like Washington University.

This week, a judge temporarily blocked the Trump administration’s plan to cut billions of dollars in funding for medical research through the National Institutes of Health—which could have a huge impact on local institutions like WashU or the University of Missouri.

The potential cuts stem from a new rule that indirect research costs cannot account for higher than 15% of the overall costs for any research project funded by the NIH. According to a memo from the agency, right now, indirect costs for such projects average around 27% to 28%.

In the case of WashU, tens of millions of dollars for research into things like cancer, Alzheimer’s, and other diseases are now up in the air. The university responded this week, saying they are monitoring the situation.

Republican U.S. Senator Josh Hawley tells FOX 2 he believes the changes are temporary and that WashU will ultimately receive funding for their critical research projects."

https://fox2now.com/news/missouri/washu-potentially-facing-impact-of-nih-funding-changes/

mermcoelho's avatar

Good article about the pope. I appreciate that the writer helps makes sense of how we “godless liberals” can make use of the pope’s arguments.

And, we have to stop the budget resolution somehow. Holy Christ, we’re going to starve poor families even more and make seniors homeless? So Billionaires can get more of a break? Fuck that!

There’s a Protest in my town on Monday for #notmypresidentday. See if there’s one in your town, if the weather allows. Godspeed Wonkettes!

jltympanum's avatar

Here's my cat story. My girlfriend's cat once ate an entire box of catnip. That cat was seriously stoned. Even his eyes were dilated.