2125 Comments
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Bear: PROTECT THE AMERICUB's avatar

Hi Wonkers! It are -17 degrees in Bear's home forest. FAHRENHEIT. That are -27 in sane social democracy degrees.

Fortunately, Bear haz reliable car, and is thus in Enhancement Cave. Which makes him a Swolar Bear! And very grateful.

Rocket Cat's avatar

Just a little polar vortex to get your hibernation on.

X.'s avatar

🐻 *rawr*

paul's avatar

It is a strange feeling when I can talk with someone like a sibling here while writing off actual siblings. I think it comes down to basic like mindedness.

Rocket Cat's avatar

Better a neighbor nearby than a brother far off. I think that’s from Proverbs.

Old Man Yells at Cloud's avatar

Apparently MAGA* hats are popular in Greenland

* Make America Go Away

Thesaurus Wrecks's avatar

Why do aliens think that sending th eir kids to Earth will make them safe? Have that not seen our planet before?

SterWonk's avatar

My taxes are usually trivial, so I do them myself.

But I moved this year, and so have parts in CA and parts in PA, and I am unfamiliar with the PA tax system.

So, my plan is to use a tax-prep service, just this one time.

Can anyone suggest which one is b̶e̶s̶t̶ 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑡 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑠𝑡?

TurboTax? H&R Block? TaxAct?

MRK's avatar

I have never had problems with turbotax, though I honestly probably shouldn't have bothered using them some years. If having to do two state returns is the only real complication, I think they'd be sufficient. But the state returns are also where they make their money.

The Blessed Reverend's avatar

Whatever you end up doing print out and store the 1040 in paper form in a file cabinet. Hold onto all your W2s etc. Don't believe everything will be safe on your laptop. Laptops can blow up/burst into flames - even Apple. Especially Apple. Ask me how I know.

SterWonk's avatar

I have 11 bankers boxes, containing records from 2005 through today, less than six feet away from me. :-)

The Blessed Reverend's avatar

I think The Criminal is beginning to warm up to killing people - like the fishermen. Once he gets a taste of it he will be a literal mad dog.

Jeff, still got my guitar's avatar

It's not so much him as it is his murderous bunch of enablers. Real killers are hands on, he's words not action.

paperlesstiger's avatar

Gaza is a mass grave. They're going to level it and build a resort on it. That was the plan all along.

The Blessed Reverend's avatar

First it was a mass refuge camp for those displaced by israeli immigrants. Then it became 'the worlds largest open air prison'. Now it is a graveyard. Next it will be a resort for ghouls.

"M"'s avatar

But because it was occupied

it was an apartheid state

https://youtu.be/evcCjLM27Mo?si=Kn4p-_Ek1C65Bcih

BillEGoatSmile's avatar

I miss the days in 1.0 when the handlers actually used the Ativan darts after 10:00 pm or so.

‪Aaron Rupar‬

‪@atrupar.com

· 1h

Trump: “Dear Prime Minister Carney:

Please let this Letter serve to represent that the Board of Peace is withdrawing its invitation to you regarding Canada’s joining, what will be, the most prestigious Board of Leaders ever assembled, at any time.

Thank you for your attention to this matter!”

https://bsky.app/profile/atrupar.com/post/3md2ltk2xps2e

jemineye's avatar
5mEdited

TOO MANY COMMAS, GODDAMN IT.

It's so fucking illiterate, I can't even cope.

I think I'm angrier at the grammar-murder than I am at the message.

JFC, FFS!!!!!

Dave M's avatar

(Okay, now I can upvote, post-edit)

Arthur Dent's Towel's avatar

That's got Miller's fingerprints all over it. Like Donnie the Demented even knows words like "prestigious", let alone how to spell them correctly.

Dave M's avatar

Subliterate punctuation checks out though.

BillEGoatSmile's avatar

Nazi Miller is apparently up and Twoothing/X-ing as well.

‪Ron Filipkowski‬

‪@ronfilipkowski.bsky.social

· 2h

He must be fun at parties.

https://bsky.app/profile/ronfilipkowski.bsky.social/post/3md2hzzgjvk2m

jemineye's avatar

Fucking prig.

And he's ugly.

And he's a twat, and a disgusting Orc.

AND, I hate him.

(Ask me how I REALLY feel, hehe.)

lmurr's avatar

"You're a poopy-head and you can't come to my birthday party. AND IT'S AT CHUCKIE CHEESE!"

SterWonk's avatar

I met my best friend at Chuck E. Cheese thirty-five years ago.

Cheers Y'all's avatar

So childish. Can't wait for the right wing to shame us When The Time Comes as millions celebrate in the streets and the right wing gets one big fat FU!

Gary Seven in Space's avatar

Yeah, but they have to get to the Golden Corral for the early bird special so we still be at work...

Rhizolith Reborn's avatar

Does he realize Canada is a nuclear armed member of NATO?

I kid, of course he doesn't

Gary Seven in Space's avatar

Wait...Canada doesn't have Nukes, do they????!!!

paperlesstiger's avatar

I don't think Canada has its own nuclear weapons. They may host some American ones.

gallbladder's avatar

We've no nuclear weapons to speak of. It is our strength.

lordpnut's avatar

Slow jackoff motion.

Random's avatar

And Carney breathes a sigh of relief.

gallbladder's avatar

Oh, we'll be fucking missed.

Gary Seven in Space's avatar

You just gotta shake your head...and then bang it on the desk repeatedly...

Anarchy Pony's avatar

Fucking clown...

UVB-76's avatar

I hope Joe and Jill Biden are in good health and happy spirits, have had a fine dinner and any flavor ice cream desired.

Gary Seven in Space's avatar

Well, they're not going to McDonalds because that blankety blank ice cream machine is always broken ...

Parakeetist's avatar

I like cherry ripple. My favorite ice cream is chocolate, but a nice cherry ripple is so good.

And it's hard to find around here.

BillEGoatSmile's avatar

LOLOLOL that clip from dimwitted GQP Rep Grothman from WI as they end the panel recap on MSNBC!

...with Jamie Raskin in the background saying, "we agree".

Rib, Internet Stranger MD's avatar

Grothman was so slow on the self awareness.

"M"'s avatar

Was he drunk? He had that potato face

Mysterysurf's avatar

Was Grothman the one with the Jimmy Johnson hair? I get my Congress idiots confused.

"M"'s avatar

He looked like a talking potato crossed with a candycane beet

Gary Seven in Space's avatar

If that's the Alabama dude I think it is...

TheHeroOfCanton's avatar

Previously on TheHeroOfCanton--

Interesting day today. Got a haircut (ever notice that when you discover you need a haircut, your hair immediately starts growing at warp speed?), so I look even hotter than I did when I was--okay, I have never looked hot, but at least my hair is much shorter, I can see my ears, and my eyebrows don't look Vulcan. But this wasn't the interesting part.

I took my winnings from my last casino run, and went to a different casino, in the hopes of parlaying them into something bigger, which almost never happens. Sure enough, I was almost down to the felt, playing pai gow poker, where I played even, but the Fortune side-bet was bleeding me dry (IYKYK).

Anyway, I got dealt a straight flush, which paid 50 to 1 (if you play the Fortune side-bet, like I do). I took the chips, tipped the dealer, and cashed the hell out. I was basically right back where I was when I walked in, so I started over, playing slots this time...only this time I couldn't lose. Long story short, I walked out with a take in the mid-triple digits. Mrs. Hero was verreh happeh, since I always split my take with her.

So what'd the Moron-in-Chief do today, besides TACO on Greenland?

X.'s avatar

What he did today was threaten a man whose integrity and guts he can never understand, let alone respect. So: the usual.

X.'s avatar

Rawr!! I have never gambled, but for some big lottery draws, just a couple tickets; it sounds very stressful, which I do not enjoy!

TheHeroOfCanton's avatar

Table games like Pai Gow Poker and Three Card Poker are very zen--you pretty much just play the cards dealt to you, which becomes automatic after you've played a lot of hands.

Queen Violet and Wee Sammy both say 'hi'!

Gary Seven in Space's avatar

Try to make a taco profit next time...

Parakeetist's avatar

Dude! That is super-true.

My feathers now grow faster than they did when I was a young sprout.

TheHeroOfCanton's avatar

And they grow even faster the second you notice you need to molt?

Parakeetist's avatar

Oh yeees! I was brushing my feathers earlier today, and there were so many feathers on the brush, but my feathers are growing longer all the time!

Rib, Internet Stranger MD's avatar

Last call ‘round here. I start my morning with three back to back meetings starting at 9a.

This weekend, I am seriously putting defensive time blocks to cut down on this crap. My managers solution to nearly every question is “have a meeting”. She has no clue some things are an email. If people don’t reply in 48hrs, the result is so what. Just followup.

When I do resign this job, she will get a copy of “The manager and the maker schedule”

Gary Seven in Space's avatar

"Dr. My arm hurts when I move it this way" >>>><<<<<

CripesAmighty's avatar

Glenn Grothmann's still around! Remember when he was in a pitched battle with Louie Gohmert for the title of most shatteringly stupid Congressmember ever to grace the Capitol.

Phried Ω's avatar

and then Senator Tommy Tuberville moved the bar to the earth's mantle.

Gary Seven in Space's avatar

I'll put Gohmert against anyone in a battle of stupid....he once wanted NASA to MOVE THE MOON....

Rhizolith Reborn's avatar

"Trump sues New York Times over negative opinion poll"

"Donald Trump announced that he will sue The New York Times for publishing a negative opinion poll about his leadership.

“The Times Siena poll... will be added to my lawsuit against the failing New York Times,” Mr Trump said on his Truth Social platform. “They will be held fully responsible for all of their radical Left lies and wrongdoing!”"

TheHeroOfCanton's avatar

Big. Fucking. Baby.

noname's avatar

How's all that coddling and conciliation working out for you, NYT?

tehbaddr's avatar

Is Butthurt grounds for legal action?

Rhizolith Reborn's avatar

The SC says that for one special little boy it is.

DaveB's avatar

For that special episode of “Gilded Oval Office Blues.”

lmurr's avatar

He has unlimited government funds. Anything and everything is grounds for legal action.

Craig Nixon's avatar

𝐉𝐃 𝐕𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐥𝐨𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐬 ‘𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠’ 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐈𝐂𝐄 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐚𝐩𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐬 𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞

𝑉𝑖𝑐𝑒-𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑠𝑎𝑦𝑠 ‘𝑛𝑢𝑚𝑏𝑒𝑟 𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔’ 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑙𝑜𝑤𝑒𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑡𝑒𝑚𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑒 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑏𝑒 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑜𝑓𝑓𝑖𝑐𝑖𝑎𝑙𝑠 𝑡𝑜 ℎ𝑒𝑙𝑝 𝑓𝑎𝑐𝑖𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑎𝑡𝑒 ‘𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛𝑎𝑏𝑙𝑒 𝑒𝑛𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑐𝑒𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑜𝑓 𝑙𝑎𝑤’

JD Vance on Thursday put the onus on local officials to “turn down the temperature” in Minneapolis, where federal immigration agents in recent days have detained a five-year-old child with his father and gassed protesters throughout the city.

Flanked by federal law enforcement, the US vice-president said he spoke with immigration agents and local business leaders ahead of talking to the press, but he had not spoken with the state’s governor, Tim Walz. He said local officials could be helping ICE identify and arrest violent criminals so that the operation could be more targeted.

Vance said the purpose of his visit is an attempt to “tone down the temperature a little bit, reduce the chaos, but still allow us as a federal government to enforce the American immigration laws”.

Vance claimed the administration isn’t trying to send a political message with the federal law enforcement presence in the state. Walz has called the Trump administration’s crackdown here a campaign of political retribution

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/jan/22/jd-vance-ice-minneapolis-protesters

TheHeroOfCanton's avatar

Like blaming the principal for not letting the bullies beat up the little kids.

Arthur Dent's Towel's avatar

Hey, Jimmy. Here's a suggestion: go fuck a cactus and leave these poor fuckers the fuck alone.

Random's avatar

Fuck off with your victim blaming, Sloppy Seconds.

"M"'s avatar

This is really all that needs to be said about him

Ever