143 Comments

Jealous? You mean homesick? I were one....

Expand full comment

Sharknado hits South Beach!

Expand full comment

As far as I am aware, Sen. Cruz has never received a blowjob from the severed head of a pig, has never fucked a dead sheep (note the emphasis on "dead"), and does not, in fact, have Fluffy Unicorn tattooed on his ass. To the best of my knowledge. But it's possible things have changed since kindergarten.

Expand full comment

Nebraska has Scott and Jane Kleeb!https://www.flickr.com/phot...

Expand full comment

Unlike Texas, where you have to stand on a bale of hay. Hyah!

Expand full comment

How long until the other Republican candidates just form Voltron and fight Trump? Ben Carson's snooze ray, the flaming sword that is formed from Carly's vagina, Rubio's bottled water launcher, Jeb's...um... and Cruz's Flaming Asshole Northern Fisting Technique may be enough to defeat Trump.

Expand full comment

*HISSSSSS*

Expand full comment

This is my new favorite protest. Although if they are willing to share Trudeau, I am willing to have a Canadian President.

Expand full comment

But what if he isn't?? The threat of the flamethrower needs to be real so if he isn't then..

Oh. I see. It's a win-win.

EDIT: And Heckler, did you make that photo pairing because I'd really like to put that on my MyFace page.

Expand full comment

Soylent Green!

Expand full comment

I don't think either one of them knows what having a friend is.

Expand full comment

It's one thing when a legitimate occupant of the Oval Office does it, and something else when an usurping Kenyan Muslin Socialist does it.

Expand full comment

See? Win/Win indeed! I cannot in good conscience claim to be the creator. I yoinked it from twitter.

Expand full comment

We are in a moment of constitutional crisis. America already has one post-constitutional party; we don’t need another.

All those are actual English words but it's like he's speaking in a foreign language.

Expand full comment

Or Sasse like Ass?

Expand full comment

Everybody better agree or Terrence Crawford will knock you the fuck out.

Expand full comment