18 Comments
User's avatar
jqheywood's avatar

He went to Princeton undergrad...

Expand full comment
jqheywood's avatar

Would they STAY bought, then?

Expand full comment
Spurning Beer's avatar

Enough said.

Expand full comment
Spurning Beer's avatar

Ted regards the American public like jurors. Any way to sway their opinion is fair. Truth has nothing to do with it.

Expand full comment
Spurning Beer's avatar

A <i>series</i> of tubes.

Expand full comment
Vienna Woods's avatar

DO NOT WANT

Expand full comment
Good_Gawd_Yall - Unperson's avatar

Does anyone have a nice big bag of our favorite salted rat dicks to send to Ted?

Expand full comment
PubOption's avatar

I have been waiting for the Repubs to claim that they are 'taking Al Gore out of the internet', but they have not gone there, yet. Have they forgotten some of their previous lies?

Expand full comment
Chris Grrr's avatar

But the way he lies is so... commanding.

Expand full comment
Joshua Norton's avatar

God, grant me the serenity to lie my ass off, the courage to still say I'm a Christian, and the ignorance to not get the irony.

Expand full comment
Zippy W. Pinhead's avatar

Cruz isn't stupid- he's preaching to stupid people

Expand full comment
Zippy W. Pinhead's avatar

pour some gravy on them and Cruz will feel right at home

Expand full comment
Comrade Wingtardd's avatar

NN will fail, because this kind of shit Cruz is spewing just fucking works.

Expand full comment
Msgr MΩment classic ☑️'s avatar

<i>...Hedy Lamarr’s 1942 patent that made cell phones possible in the first place.</i>

That's Hedley!

Low-hanging fruit is the bestest fruit.

Expand full comment
artem1s's avatar

isn't he running the risk that all the olds will glom onto the new Obama for the internet because they believe it will let them have their old rotary phone back?

OK, not likely, but if you really want conservatards to get it, tell them they won't be able to Skype their grandchildren if Crazy Teddy gets his way.

Expand full comment