369 Comments

The repubs never seem to worry about the xtian terrorists.

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Therapy with Ted is ...complex. The "halfway house" mentioned was in fact a medium security penitentiary. Ted managed to abscond while the poorly paid TX DOC guards were watching a football game.

Have no fear...I keep a well stocked pharmacy here at Shady Acres, including a substantial quantity of Thorazine should Ted ever return.

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If the universe was just it could have been a twofer

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He's never had an orgasm with his flaccid peen. If he had, he would be a lot nicer, and less of an asshole.

The kids probably resemble the UPS guy.

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We need a Serious President, like Ted Cruz...https://media4.giphy.com/me...

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You forgot mccain and miz lindzy.

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'Cept when it comes to moving the Overton window to the right. In that regard they have done much better than the Dems over the last 30 - 40 years.

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Traditionally, doesn't one usually stick their head in a cold gas oven?

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Just so you know, it's okay to admit you need a break from Ted. It's not okay to call me and ask me to cover your shift, but a vacay is acceptable.

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It's "chomp, chomp, pass" don't be greedy.

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Obs a leaking aperture from hell.

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Slightly OT. Twice, while eating at Ruths Chris, management asked patrons to leave because of their squalling babies. When you're paying fifty bucks or more for a steak, the last thing you want with your dinner is a squealing child.

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I heard Cruz's pathetic ramblings about Obama and baseball and Cuba and thought - "You know Ted, why don't you shut up and go figure out an actual, workable economic policy?"

The day will never come.

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Waitaminnit!

Don't you have an older sister? I think I met her at one of Jack Kirby's shindigs.

She is one tall drink of water!

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Yeah, but this is the REPUBLICAN party. It requires something extra.

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He can have a rally at Mill Ends Park.

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