15 Comments

Cruz just has a sad that everyone who sees him naked loses their lunch. Including his wife, allegedly.

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Yeah, we've got a local nude beach that we go to, and from the forums for beach-goers, I'd bet a bunch are Conservative or Libertarian. Hardly a Socialist or even Liberal paradise.

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Bugs Bunny is a crossdresser!

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If Ted Cruz ever fully disrobed in his life he would reveal that he is a byproduct of the Campbell’s Soup corporations experiments with alien potato DNA. What once was a noble attempt at using space vegetables and Matt Damon turds to solve the hunger crisis gained sentience with a sense of moral superiority, went to Harvard, and never learned how to make a friend. It’s why he consumes 30 cans of soup a day it is the life giving SLURRY

Ted Cruz spotting a nudehttps://c.tenor.com/3AUnMaJ...

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If Ted Cruz isn’t a nevernude, he really should be

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Nononononono

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"The wrong prople?"

Fuck that soup nazi.

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I think Ted Cruz really really really wants to go to the nude beach himself, but he’s afraid to because of all the liberal crimes being so scary.

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Well, Ted Cruz is providing free publicity for nudist beaches now. Not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing.

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That's one self-loathing mf

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Not for Ted! He had JJ Arms install a shooter cannon in his private conservative rectal area so he can shoot the shit wherever he goes.

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Mystery solved! That must be why he keeps trying to adhere different scraggy animal pelts on his zoodiac face.

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Didn’t they make a movie about that where if people viewed a video of a day at a nude beach with a naked Ted Cruz (the horror!) in it they died an excruciatingly painful and humiliating death?

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Dear Nude Beach forum,

I never thought this would happen to me but then I’ve never seen myself naked except when frying bacon on my howitzer muzzle. Coincidentally…~Raffie “Are There Nude Beaches In Cancùn?” Cruz

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