Ted Cruz So Mad At New York Times You'd Think It Called His Wife Ugly

Haha, it's funny because that was Donald Trump.

Disney villain henchman Ted Cruz is has been having a full-blown Twitter tantrum all week long over the failing  New York Times . The Texas senator is pissed because the Times has moved on from accusing Donald Trump of colluding with Russia (as if that's even a real country) to implying that white people once owned black people (wow, if true).

Cruz believes the New York Times is part of a liberal conspiracy to convince Americans that Trump is racist. These diabolical "journalists" will achieve this by covering all the racist things Trump says and does, and because Trump is so damn racist, the Times might have to create a whole new infrastructure to handle all the breaking racist news.

Dean Baquet, executive editor of the Times , isn't revealing the next season arc for Trump! to a packed crowd at Comic-Con. He's talking about reporters literally leaving the office and writing about what's happening in the world. That's admittedly a stretch objective when your paper has a Maggie Haberman on staff, but it's not a "political narrative" or liberal "propaganda." Earlier, Cruz lamented that Americans are so "tribalized" politically we have our own "news" and "facts." We don't even talk to each other! Then he spent the next few days retweeting conservative news sites and Twitter users who agreed with him. (This includes the very white RedState writer who calls herself "Sister Toldjah" -- hilarious!)

And in the spirit of bipartisan dialogue, he trash-talked journalist John Harwood and Democratic speechwriter and "Pod Save America" host Jon Favreau, all while playing the victim. True to form, Ted.

When Harwood pointed out that Cruz was cynically misrepresenting Baquet's words, Cruz responded with a classic Orwell quote from 1984 : "Oceania was at war with Eastasia. Oceania had always been at war with Eastasia." He is so irony-deficient he misses Orwell's actual point -- true government propaganda is when you're told not to believe your own eyes or experiences. We aren't rewriting history when we say, "Trump is a racist. He's always been a racist." Republicans such as Paul Ryan, Lindsey Graham, and C ruz himselfhave   accused Trump ofracism,   race-baiting, and coddling of white supremacists. They are the ones who've gone full Orwell.

Conservatives like to claim the press adored Barack Obama and never trashed him the way it does Trump. It's true there were a dearth of stories about how Obama accepted foreign help to win an election or violated campaign finance laws to pay off his alleged mistress. That's because he never did those things. It's not "media bias" when you don't put non-existent stories on the front page. Besides, Judith Miller left the Times a while ago. Conservatives should also make up their minds: If the Times is just an obvious "propaganda outlet, by liberals for liberals," as Cruz claims, then Fox News is the answer to right-wing prayers. Fox slimed Obama for eight years and mostly adores Trump now. Conservatives have spent decades repudiating the objectivity of the press. Thanks to their efforts, there is no Walter Cronkite voice of reason who most Americans believe. Still, Cruz contends that liberals have brainwashed everyone and he has no choice but to force us to put on  They Live  sunglasses.

In Cruz's eyes, he must take to Twitter to reveal the TRUTH because the "mainstream media" has failed him. His pet conspiracy theory has received absolutely no coverage other than from anyone but conservative hack rags, so he's ranting like a common Donald Trump, who praised the National Enquirer for its groundbreaking work exposing Cruz's father as Lee Harvey Oswald's wingman.

Today, Cruz has taken the fight to the New York Times's propaganda machine. He retweeted the "incomparable" black conservative Thomas Sowell, who declared that racism was only "kept alive" by people who believe it exists. We think he's confused racism with Tinkerbell. He also dusted off lone black Republican Senator Tim Scott, who suggested black people are being "duped" by this whole racism scam. We should also not answer any emails from Nigerian princes.

Trump claimed yesterday that the more than 70 percent of Jewish Americans who vote for Democrats are "disloyal" or idiots. We suppose it'll be just as effective to suggest that 80 percent of black Americans who think Trump is racist have all drunk Democrats' tasty watermelon-flavored Kool-Aid.

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