61 Comments

Normally I'm loathe to make fun of someone's appearance, but he always looks like he has to poop really bad but is trying to hold it in.

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When the facts are against you, argue the law.When the law is against you, argue the facts.

When both are against you, call the other lawyer names.

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This requires more technical skill than I'll ever possess but is there one among you who can create a Ted Cruz being punched in the face gif? I can't think of a better one...maybe photoshop his head in to the seen in "Day of the Dead" (1985) where the fascist bad guy is torn apart by zombies?

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"Scanners".

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Every time I see Ted Cruz, I can't help but wonder how conservatives would react if it had been Obama's father who was buddies with Castro.

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Oil from the Keystone Pipeline: Straight to Ted Cruz's hair.

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ted paul wolfowitzcruz the epitome of wrong.

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I don't know which I hate worse- his face or his voice.

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Watch your language, young feller, this is a public market.

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Well, I think it's nice that they reserve some admission slots for people who are, um, "intellectually ungifted" and also, you know, giant f*cking assho!es.

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I thought it was Dolly Whonow?

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or a rake?

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I'm really starting to think Harvard is overrated.

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He looks like a damper version of Steven Fry in that shot. In defense of a funny and intelligent man, I feel I must punch him out, drag him out into the desert and leave him there with nothing but a plastic spoon.

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Obviously, Ted wants Loretta Lynch to live up to her hit song and stand by her man.

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Probably more like "Stand Aside for A Man."

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