168 Comments
User's avatar
Lefty Mark's avatar

But wait ...his face is non-Euclidean, though.

Expand full comment
Mehmeisterjr's avatar

Slight difference of opinion: Apparently?

Expand full comment
Mehmeisterjr's avatar

How slimy is he? He zaps bugs with his tongue.

Expand full comment
bobbert's avatar

In a properly run universe, Bamz would withhold aid* from the Congressional districts whose Congressfucks voted against the Sandy bill.

* For a while. Yeah, I'm a liberal, and there are ordinary-people Texans who need relief.

Expand full comment
bobbert's avatar

Rugose and oleaginous.

Expand full comment
bobbert's avatar

No one expects the Texas Disquisition.

(Janis)

Expand full comment
bobbert's avatar

It's not nice to fib like that.

Expand full comment
bobbert's avatar

A hypervolume knob. His knobness transcends ordinary dimensions.

Expand full comment
bobbert's avatar

And his hair was perfect.

Expand full comment
bobbert's avatar

It's fucking dry where I live too, and we ain't happy about it.

Expand full comment
Raylusk's avatar

Texas receives more disaster relief money then any other state. But Cruz is personally going to make sure they get even more. Texas is a state of takers not makers.

Expand full comment
bobbert's avatar

I think you got the contrapositive wrong.

Expand full comment
Alex Grey's avatar

I hear you. As a progressive, I also believe that we should help these Texans in need. However, I am not going to feel guilty about gloating, considering how they want to practically dismantle the Federal government, (or threaten to secede whenever they get butthurt,) except when they are in need.

Expand full comment
Alex Grey's avatar

If Texas were to carry through on their promise/threat to secede, we would never have another republican president. Please Texas you promised us, leave the fucking Union, we don't want you.

Expand full comment
lesterthegiantape's avatar

I... yeah, I'm setting my liberal principles aside. These aßholes should not get a single goddamn penny until they're forced to kneel before the president and beg him for mercy. And then it should take five years for the money to turn up, and it should be delivered by military convoys, door to door, a check at a time.We spend an incredible amount of time accommodating insane, hateful people who wish America ill. They are spoiled rotten and they need a harsh spanking.

Expand full comment
rt5guide's avatar

He just fired up the "secret weather machine" that they invented at NOAA.

Expand full comment