218 Comments
User's avatar
Wombat's avatar

Apparently Teddles didn't learn anything from that "poll" he did on FB last year. Shocking.

Expand full comment
Paperless Tiger's avatar

Needs rearranging. With votes, of course.

Expand full comment
Paperless Tiger's avatar

Pity the poor oligarchs, who must rely on such as Ted to do their politics. Else they must send one of their own, a viper like Perot or Romney, slithering from the boardroom with fangs and forked tongue, filling the electorate with fear and loathing.

Expand full comment
fuflans's avatar

minor note: the fine was $95/1% of income last year. this year (2015 tax year) it's $325/2% of income, next year it will be higher again.

and those figures are for every adult in household. kids are 1/2 that.

sorry to be wonky.

Expand full comment
DahBoner's avatar

Why does Ted Cruz and his family remind me of a Supermodel at an All-You-Can-Eat Buffet?

http://www.reactiongifs.com...

Expand full comment
hateashburylovecraft's avatar

Adobe Vot-oshop. But I'd prefer Slapchat.

Expand full comment
L. Ron Pony  🇺🇦's avatar

Love is blind. Sometimes it's deaf and dumb and shut up in a box too.

Expand full comment
L. Ron Pony  🇺🇦's avatar

Has he even tried?

Expand full comment
L. Ron Pony  🇺🇦's avatar

"It must be nice to be Ted Cruz."You should copyright that, Kaili. I can guarantee no-one has EVER used that phrase before.

Expand full comment
lovelydestruction's avatar

Privatively

Expand full comment
Fartknocker's avatar

President Poutine with his fancy Harvard law degree and combination Cuban/Canadian pedigree has failed to consider the one flaw in his grand strategy to make American better: the insurance companies and hospitals love them some ACA. For being such a brilliant maple syrup covered dildo, he sure as fuck apparently doesn't know that he won't decide this issue. People on K street make these decisions.

Expand full comment
Mr. Blobfish's avatar

All this hilarity in only two days?

Expand full comment
Mr. Blobfish's avatar

Hey! Don't make me come up there!

Expand full comment
beatbort's avatar

I have the same reaction to Ted Cruz as I do to Donald Trump: Can't he see how ridiculous he is?

Expand full comment
Jim's avatar

I wonder which specific verse of Deuteronomy Ted Cruz screams at the moment of climax.

Expand full comment