He still wants to be your lover. This is not a story yr Wonkette ever wanted to write, as we hoped Ted Cruz would soon be absorbed back into the hellish glob of Canadian poutine jizz what barfed him onto America, never to be heard from politically again. Or we at least hoped he'd just go back to the Senate and continue bothering people from there, like he did before the risen Christ
I mean, technically you could make that statement, but that's pretty much "forever". Unless there was some halcyon era in the late 1700's... maybe that's what they're driving at.Or pre-abolition of slavery/civil war?
But sincere belief that God has chosen him is all she has left! You can see it in her dead eyes, or every time one of their children flees His Touch(tm).
Let me see if I understand this...the most unlikeable man in the race decides to suspend his campaign, but will return if he wins a state full of corn people.
No, not that one...*rummage*..where is that damn thing? OH, there it is!
And the thing on his lip is disgusting, too.
I mean, technically you could make that statement, but that's pretty much "forever". Unless there was some halcyon era in the late 1700's... maybe that's what they're driving at.Or pre-abolition of slavery/civil war?
Why don't you take a shit, stick it in the freezer, then come back four hours later and jam it back into your anus.I'll wait.
The Iraq Invasion?
But sincere belief that God has chosen him is all she has left! You can see it in her dead eyes, or every time one of their children flees His Touch(tm).
Cruz's next big plan? Maybe a Televangelical ministry? It's probably about time for his dad to retire, hand over the microphone.
Fool's Gold.
Let me see if I understand this...the most unlikeable man in the race decides to suspend his campaign, but will return if he wins a state full of corn people.
No, not that one...*rummage*..where is that damn thing? OH, there it is!
You can rent ANYTHING these days.
Funny how often that happens, eh?
So it's Heidi who's the True Believer? Suddenly things make a bit more sense.
Stockholm Syndrome
Ugh - that microphone is going to need to be dipped in some blue fluid or something first...
The Simpsons?
25 years? So slavery was only a thing from the early 1840's to the middle 1860's? Why was there even a war over that?
He's willing to eat a booger for your love. #tedcruzateabooger