Do you want to watch an interminable bye-bye video from Ted Cruz about how his campaign was just the most honorable thing ever, which features white wingnuts crying salty jizz tears at each other about how it's so sad Ted Cruz didn't get elected as our new Jesus? No, you would not be into watching that? We hear you saying you want Wonkette to watch that video for you and find the funny parts, and post pictures of them, so we can all punch Ted Cruz in his dumb face for no reason on this lovely Tuesday morning, is that accurate?
"Hi. M-my name's Mintie . . .""HI, MINTIE!!!!"". . . and I-I want to punch Cruz in the face. I mean, I never wanted to hurt anyone before . . . and I thought, well, just one little punch, what harm could that do, but then I wanted more, and, and more, and one thing led to another . . ."
As much as I enjoy your version, I'd say mine is more like:
"Hi, my name is Mintie, and I purposely read media about subjects that make me ill. Like Ted Cruz. He just looks so greasy and soft, like a deep fat fried marshmallow. Ugh. Just thinking about it is making me want to puke. I know this, and yet I keep doing it, and I just . . . yeah, excuse me for a minute . . ."
Welcome to the Internet, good sir. Keep on believin', hold on to that special feeling that is the belief that Ted Cruz has principles other than shameless fear mongering and unbridled ambition.
The country has BARELY recovered from GWB. I don't think I can stand another Republican as president, and I KNOW I couldn't stand a Ted Cruz presidency.
"Hi. M-my name's Mintie . . .""HI, MINTIE!!!!"". . . and I-I want to punch Cruz in the face. I mean, I never wanted to hurt anyone before . . . and I thought, well, just one little punch, what harm could that do, but then I wanted more, and, and more, and one thing led to another . . ."
It's his mutant super-power.
Eek! Remember what happened the last time someone said that?
A scandal that thing didn't win the Oscar!!!
As much as I enjoy your version, I'd say mine is more like:
"Hi, my name is Mintie, and I purposely read media about subjects that make me ill. Like Ted Cruz. He just looks so greasy and soft, like a deep fat fried marshmallow. Ugh. Just thinking about it is making me want to puke. I know this, and yet I keep doing it, and I just . . . yeah, excuse me for a minute . . ."
Yeay, though I walk through the Valley of Uncanny, I shall fear no replicants from Derp9.
I'm crying because this shit show is coming back in a worse way in 2019.
But they probably got exactly what they wanted so maybe he forte is schlock?
Hell, his fellow replicants (see Mitt) think he's an asshole too.
Welcome to the Internet, good sir. Keep on believin', hold on to that special feeling that is the belief that Ted Cruz has principles other than shameless fear mongering and unbridled ambition.
That guy at 3:42 has serious serial killer eyes. SCARY!!!
> Meh, Canada doesn’t want him either. Nobody does.
http://m.memegen.com/ltnlfz...
The country has BARELY recovered from GWB. I don't think I can stand another Republican as president, and I KNOW I couldn't stand a Ted Cruz presidency.
http://orig01.deviantart.ne...
https://c.fastcompany.net/m...
RejecTed!