14 Comments

That is actually the line my 14 year old second cousin gave her parents when she got caught "not having sex" with a high school drop out.

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Or on the bus.

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You mean the Refried Tossed Salad Version?

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Ted, I know from friends how hard recovery can be. However, here's a tip: You're going to have a hard time negotiating those steps if you keep using phrases like, "so I thought I’d harden that up with some Paul".

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...if guys needed Meth to masturbate, it would be legal by now!

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Cheer up. On their death bed, hardly anyone says "I wish I spent more time using meth and masturbating." One reason for that is, of course, that masturbating meth-heads don't die on a bed -- usually more of a sofa setting, or one of those government-issued hammocks I heard about.

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Are we talking about Ron or Rand here?

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And I love you back Grampa. Where have you been? I've missed you. No one else around here takes the time to school me on my apostrophe abuses. :)

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We'd sure be rid of Bill O'Reilly.

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Next thing I know, you'll be telling me that all straight men fantasize about two women at one time.

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Poor Teddy. You know you're getting old when you go from "bisexual" to "buy sexual".

Them's the breaks.

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"Harden that up with some Paul" is one of my favorite phrases to use while having a three-way with a guy named Paul.

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...as we speak Pfizer is patenting a new ED pill!

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“Anyway, I’m reading Romans. I just finished with Matthew, which is all Jesus, so I thought I’d harden that up with some Paul.”

Theologically speaking, he's saying that having too much gospel in your diet turns a man into a wimp. You need to balance out with some epistles, which contain more fiber and zest.

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