22 Comments

Being kicked out of such a church is no loss. I'd regard it as a badge of honor and wouldn't hesitate to tell everyone I knew about it. I don't know why anyone ever gives these jerks the slightest attention.

Expand full comment

The kingdom of heaven is like a man who sowed good seed in his <strike> parishioners</strike> field

Expand full comment

He's a pragmatic guy. Get rid of the sinners, and the whole church experience will be nicer for the sanctified sheep who remain...

Expand full comment

Under their cotton-polyester blend shirt.

Expand full comment

and a Peter Max poster also too

Expand full comment

that explains the rainbows

Expand full comment

wait a minute, you were sharing Vodka? Funny, he's never mentioned that...

Expand full comment

MICHELLE SHOCKED LIBUL!!1!

(at least until she went off her meds and went full metal fundie)

Expand full comment

at first glance, I read that as MoDo trainspotting and thought that she's gotten into Peggy's liquor cabinet again...

Expand full comment

Anything less than shunning the kid is "endorsing that lifestyle." (Or "condoning" it, as if they were equivalent terms.) Her sin was so grievous that even her siblings were booted. That's some high-octane love, right there.

Expand full comment

Does the free appliance arrive sometime after you convert, then?

Expand full comment

The mis-translations are very clear, though.

Forced sex hits rather close to home, for some, so it's really easier on the flock as a whole to change it to homosex.

Expand full comment

A guy could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with...

Expand full comment

This is properly sanctimonious, and closely related to the Jane Fonda Unforgivibility Doctrine.

Expand full comment

Mine was Comic Sans, but I got better.

Expand full comment

Just wait, next they will be kicking out everyone who works at Red Lobster.

The Bible speaks very plainly about eating shellfish...

Expand full comment