12 Comments

Assuming he can read.

Expand full comment

god. i hate zombies.

seriously. hate. zombies.

Expand full comment

So wait, Odin?

Expand full comment

<i>We do not provide tours of our Outdoor Research Facility.</i>

Expand full comment

Trebouchet?

Expand full comment

What kind of idiot thinks Freedumb applies to anyone but Real True Christian Patriots? Stupid librulz, can't even read the plain language of the First Amendment.

Expand full comment

Nor from Shinola can they distinguish their own fundament.

Expand full comment

And as we all know, the French are a bunch of commie socialists, so eww!

Expand full comment

The answer to the problem approaching Muslin Zombie Apocalypse* is obvious: bury every dead Muslin clutching a silver cross on their chest. There. Problem solved. And I don't see any possible objection anybody could have with it.

*which I hereby ™ for my own future garage band, once I learn to play some instrument

Expand full comment

No, this isn't a story about Santorum.

Expand full comment

What the foreign kind of fucking name is DesJarlais anyways?

Expand full comment

Congressman Scott DesJarlis then excused himself, as he was late for his 1:00pm interview where he accused President Obama of destoying the Constitution and silencing people who have different opinions or beliefs than him.

Expand full comment