21 Comments
User's avatar
Gherkins d'Resistance's avatar

Unless the parking lot prostitute gets there first! FREE MARKET!

Expand full comment
Gherkins d'Resistance's avatar

TRAPPED INSIDE FILTHY BUTTHOLE

I'm confused. I thought Tucker Carlson was in North Carolina, not locked in the Daily Caller offices??

Expand full comment
PubOption's avatar

As long as the hotel had free ethernet, he wouldn't complain.

Expand full comment
Gherkins d'Resistance's avatar

Tucker Carlson hates it when the politicians cocks are already sucked before an interview. How the hell does that dirty whore expect him to keep up his excellent levels of "press access" if he can't do his signature Bowtie Ticklescrote move?

Expand full comment
bobbert's avatar

Quite brilliant, that.

Expand full comment
SheriffRoscoe's avatar

I'm not sure I understand the concept of hotels being "assigned." What is this, fucking Russia?

Expand full comment
SheriffRoscoe's avatar

<i>"Because How Much Time Are You Going To Spend In Your Hotel Room, Anyway?"</i>

I should have gone into advertising. I could sell the shit out of every fleabag motel in the country with my slogans.

Expand full comment
Mayor_Quimby's avatar

I have seen some terrible Kinghts Inns in GA, they all look like you can get meth or a hooker any time. Luckily I've never had to stay in one, but those assholes should have used Tripadvisor before they got there. Does their free market magazine not pay for smartphones?

Expand full comment
Comrade Wingtardd's avatar

Well ... you don't go to the convention in the hotels that you <i>want</i>, but the hotels that you <i>have</i>

Expand full comment
Zippy W. Pinhead's avatar

It takes all kinds of critters to make Farmer Vincent's fritters...

Expand full comment
Vienna Woods's avatar

So you'll have a earache tonight.

Expand full comment
Vienna Woods's avatar

OMG. When I started working at a sleazy movie theatre in downtown Toronto back in 1980, THAT was the movie that was playing!!

Expand full comment
Bezoar's avatar

I think we should expand the sample for the "...history's most horrible band" category.

Expand full comment
SullivanSt's avatar

Forget about them at the bar with, say, a tequila sunrise.

Expand full comment
SullivanSt's avatar

You won't get into a bidding war with a Republican over a working <em>girl</em>.

Expand full comment
fuflans's avatar

hotel earle

Expand full comment