A "blinking Christmas ornament" was put in the trash at the Pentagon Metro stop this morning, so of course the station had to be shut down, because terrorism. Officials told the AP they "took it seriously," which is what they always do, even though they should be racist-profiling blinking Eid ornaments, not Christmas ornaments. The terrorist ornament was apprehended at the trash can and x-rayed, though the Pentagon police apparently thought it was safe enough not to have to scan its reindeer genitals or whatever. We may not have expected the War on Terror to merge with the War on Christmas, but then again, we didn't expect the virgin Saddam Hussein to give birth to a man named Osama bin Laden, did we? But, actually, we suspect this is the work of a good-hearted Secret Santa.
The interesting thing about bomb identification is, you've always got your power supply, you've always got your detonator, you've always got your explosives. What you don't usually got is your blinky light.
Aren't the terrorists getting tired of winning all the time? I mean, it's like we're in the JV and they're the pros. They need to compete in a higher league.
The interesting thing about bomb identification is, you've always got your power supply, you've always got your detonator, you've always got your explosives. What you don't usually got is your blinky light.
It was probably one of those dancing Santas which I happen to know can easily be disarmed with a baseball bat.
Aren't the terrorists getting tired of winning all the time? I mean, it's like we're in the JV and they're the pros. They need to compete in a higher league.
Terror alert level has been raised to blinking red and green.
plus all those unattended packages under the tree.
But we're AMERICAN! deranged pussies. Best pussies in the world! Fuck yeah.