Testifying Fetus Refuses To Cooperate

Because this is the United States of America, two fetuses supposedly "testified" before an Ohio legislative committee yesterday via projector from the womb for a bill that would make abortion illegal if the fetus in question has a heartbeat. Things were going just fine for the wingnuts until the nine-week-old fetus' heartbeat failed to show up on the monitor or the speakers. "When we did this earlier the baby cooperated very nicely," the pro-life activist said as she struggled to find the fetus' heart with her laser pointer. Not cooperating? That's contempt! That fetus should be thrown in jail! We totally called it. At the very least, this fetus' crazy pro-life parents are going to immediately put it in a time-out when it's born.

OR it could be that it's not always clear when a fetus does or doesn't have a specific organ in the works. If this law passed and a woman needed to abort this fetus, would her doctor have to rush her over to a judge to get his opinion on whether or not there was a heart? Exactly.

At the beginning of this video, the pro-life woman explains it would be easier to see the beating heart if they did a trans-vaginal ultrasound, but they didn't want to do that sort of thing in front of everyone. The committee found this hilarious .

"Yes, it certainly would be weird if everyone on this committee saw my mother's vagina," replied the half-inch fetus, forced to testify in the nude and against its will, unable to think or speak, and yet more intelligent than everyone else there.

By the way, the pro-life woman also says they don't know the sex of this fetus. So these wingnuts just assisted a witness dealing with some very personal gender issues. LGTB pride! [ YouTube ]