136 Comments
User's avatar
JoeChristmas's avatar

Dude, I did not see that one.

Latverian Diplomat's avatar

It's all those New Testament references to formaldehyde that have people confused.

I remember a PBS show about the purported tomb of Jesus, which is stone structure inside a church tensely shared between half a dozen or so Christian denominations (none of them Protestant). But the "Holy Land" tourists find the place a bit creepy, so there's a "Garden Tomb" which is even more likely to be fake, but it's popular because it's a pleasant outdoor setting more similar to a modern American cemetery.

Misty Malarky Ying Yang's avatar

Ding ding ding, my friend. Ding ding ding.

Naked Bunny with a Whip's avatar

Ah, but that just disproves evolution!

impeachrinserepeat's avatar

My experience would lead me to say Jehovah's Witness zombies. I'd take The Watchtower, but they ain't going away.

sgt. jmk de la résistance's avatar

Bill Nye handled that very kindly.

sgt. jmk de la résistance's avatar

"Don't mess with Texas...

...because we can't handle it and will run away screaming so just don't, OK?"

Amy!'s avatar

Yeah, well, if you were dead, and they buried you, what would you say then, huh? Huh? Huh? Quidditch rat demonstration!

Sharkey's avatar

...but everybody prefers the one by the strip club.

John Norris's avatar

Now the Texasses know why Pres Obama put Jade Helm on them: to practice taking out the Muslin Zombie Horde.

John Norris's avatar

A rec center in the tunnels under the closed Wal Mart.

Staid Winnow 🔎👽🔍's avatar

Well, shoot, Preacher, if you’re allowed to fill innocent children’s heads with...Those words have a nasty coded message. shoot? children's heads?C'mon Wonkette!

RachelK's avatar

Holy shit, y'all. This is my grandmother's hometown. My great-aunt used to be the mayor and before that, when it was a dry county (maybe still is?) her father was the town's big bootlegger. He was awesome, and taught me how to cheat at poker, and taught my grandmother how to hide bottles of gin in the potato field. I never thought I'd see a news story about Farmersville, but of course, I always knew that if I did, it would be something like this. Sigh.

cessnadriver's avatar

Zeppo Marx was a bit of a real estate genius and managed the family's real estate holdings.

He would buy a large tract of land and threaten to build a Jewish cemetery on said land. Outraged Christers would then buy the land from them at a premium.

One tract was then used to build a country club. Which was restricted.

Relativicus's avatar

The thing that sets my eyes rolling so fast they look as if they're hardly moving is the firmly entrenched belief that the mere sight of a can of Spam makes Muslims go running for the hills yelling "Ewwwww, GAH! Ickyickyickyicky... grossgrossgross!!!!" (but in Islamese). Folks, you don't need to waste a hog to tell prospective neighbors you're disgusting hateful slobs. You can make the same point utilizing items from your home, or bowels. Just express yourselves and folks will get your meaning.