136 Comments

Dude, I did not see that one.

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It's all those New Testament references to formaldehyde that have people confused.

I remember a PBS show about the purported tomb of Jesus, which is stone structure inside a church tensely shared between half a dozen or so Christian denominations (none of them Protestant). But the "Holy Land" tourists find the place a bit creepy, so there's a "Garden Tomb" which is even more likely to be fake, but it's popular because it's a pleasant outdoor setting more similar to a modern American cemetery.

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Ding ding ding, my friend. Ding ding ding.

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Ah, but that just disproves evolution!

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My experience would lead me to say Jehovah's Witness zombies. I'd take The Watchtower, but they ain't going away.

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Bill Nye handled that very kindly.

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"Don't mess with Texas...

...because we can't handle it and will run away screaming so just don't, OK?"

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Yeah, well, if you were dead, and they buried you, what would you say then, huh? Huh? Huh? Quidditch rat demonstration!

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...but everybody prefers the one by the strip club.

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I hate stoopid.

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Now the Texasses know why Pres Obama put Jade Helm on them: to practice taking out the Muslin Zombie Horde.

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A rec center in the tunnels under the closed Wal Mart.

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Well, shoot, Preacher, if you’re allowed to fill innocent children’s heads with...Those words have a nasty coded message. shoot? children's heads?C'mon Wonkette!

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Holy shit, y'all. This is my grandmother's hometown. My great-aunt used to be the mayor and before that, when it was a dry county (maybe still is?) her father was the town's big bootlegger. He was awesome, and taught me how to cheat at poker, and taught my grandmother how to hide bottles of gin in the potato field. I never thought I'd see a news story about Farmersville, but of course, I always knew that if I did, it would be something like this. Sigh.

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Zeppo Marx was a bit of a real estate genius and managed the family's real estate holdings.

He would buy a large tract of land and threaten to build a Jewish cemetery on said land. Outraged Christers would then buy the land from them at a premium.

One tract was then used to build a country club. Which was restricted.

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The thing that sets my eyes rolling so fast they look as if they're hardly moving is the firmly entrenched belief that the mere sight of a can of Spam makes Muslims go running for the hills yelling "Ewwwww, GAH! Ickyickyickyicky... grossgrossgross!!!!" (but in Islamese). Folks, you don't need to waste a hog to tell prospective neighbors you're disgusting hateful slobs. You can make the same point utilizing items from your home, or bowels. Just express yourselves and folks will get your meaning.

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