285 Comments
User's avatar
Pete's avatar

Donald's only coherent statement: "Quack!"

Aquaria's avatar

Not enough chemtrails, vaccines causing autism, Big Pharma or GMOs poisoning us all.

Aquaria's avatar

Molly Ivins always said the Lege was the best free show in Texas.

I suppose she meant that it was the best horror and macabre humor show in Texas, but the best, nevertheless.

Aquaria's avatar

It's Exhibit B in what makes Texas so detestable.

East Texas is Exhibit A, and it's not even a contest.

Mr Canoehead/M Tête-Canoë's avatar

Best plan I heard is to take the gen. ed. classes at the cheapest state school that's accredited, then transfer the credits to the school you actually want.

nick kelly's avatar

Ok this is a JOKE: Breaking News- there has been an unsuccessful attempt to assassinate GOP hopeful Donald Trump. Asked if he has any suspects FBI Chief Harvard Balls replied: 'Quite a few. We are proceeding on a process of elimination. So far we have eliminated most Quakers.'

fawkedifiknow's avatar

Dylan Roof should try this defense strategy: Tell the folks in South Carolina that, in return for dropping the nine murder charges, he will leave the state for good, and they don't have to worry about any mass murders of South Carolinians from him anymore, and all will be good, y'all.

nick kelly's avatar

As a UK/Canadian dual citizen I have to tell you this Conservative Christian thing is the main cultural/political difference between the US and the rest of the English speaking world. In the UK there is no connection between Conservatism and religion- and half the population DOES'NT think the earth is 10, 000 years old. (But we've had a few in Canada- Stockwell Day) A preacher running for office would be the butt of endless jokes. When the last Trump opponent, Kaisich (sp) began his resignation speech: "The Lord has other... bla bla" I said 'Jesus Christ, not ANOTHER one. NO wonder Trump won- he's not a bible thumper.

chascates's avatar

There are many, many reasons I wish I were a Euro resident but the enlightened view of organized superstition is at the top of the list.

Beaumarchais?'s avatar

Doesn't anyone use the word "bribe" anymore?

harryeagar's avatar

Could be worse. Was worse if you lived in West, Texas.

schmannity's avatar

Avenues? That's some fancy Eastern ultra-lib concept.

Zhu Bajie's avatar

Well, it's a big ass!

melina1222's avatar

Actually it's Lubbock in the rear view mirror. Most Texans will find this amusing, even those from Lubbock.