22 Comments
User's avatar
Msgr MΩment classic ☑️'s avatar

"The best defense is a hasty retreat."

Msgr MΩment classic ☑️'s avatar

Remember, kids, Moses is white. He just is.

Ilgattomorte's avatar

Christ and Moses haven't gotten enough credit for their work on the Constitution or the Declaration of Independence. It was actually Jesus who suggested using "creator" instead of "God", because he didn't want to "hit them over the head with, Dad did this and Dad did that". Moses was against it and it started a huge fight. Moses was all like enraged and turning sticks into snakes and Christ was like, "come on man, cut that shit out, it's just a word." Obviously Jesus won and Moses was pissed, but what are you going to do it's nepotism.

Lefty Mark's avatar

The reminder not to curse is particularly effective, God damnit!

Lefty Mark's avatar

I'd suggest Joshua.

Lefty Mark's avatar

We all feared that this was going to happen <a href="http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Sumer" target="_blank">Sumer</a> or later. The adoption <a href="http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Ishbi-Erra" target="_blank">Ishbi-Erra,</a> <a href="http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Isin" target="_blank">Isin</a> it? Someone better <a href="http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Tell_Brak" target="_blank">Tell Brak.</a> This move is not a <a href="http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Gudea" target="_blank">Gudea</a>, <a href="http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Amorites" target="_blank">Amorite?</a>

Lefty Mark's avatar

HS kidz these days are all, "doin' ass, dontal."

Lefty Mark's avatar

Personally, I think a <a href="http:\/\/www.wonkettebazaar.com\/shop\/coffee-cups-for-your-coffee\/" target="_blank">Warren Christmas</a> is a dandy idea.

Lefty Mark's avatar

"Let my people go" ... so that in 5,000 years they can found a country based on idiot conservatism, extreme inequality and cat videos.

Land Shark 🇺🇦 🇺🇦 🇺🇦's avatar

So the Texas Supreme Court will be issued swords in order to administer the Judgement of Solomon?

Zippy W. Pinhead's avatar

Texas Bored of Education

FIFY

Zippy W. Pinhead's avatar

and especially NO COVETING!

BarackMyWorld's avatar

What do the new textbooks say about the moon landing? Is Murphy going to get suspended again?