151 Comments
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L. Ron Pony  ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฆ's avatar

Gotcha. *makes a note in his 'Field Guide to the Christianists'*

Jenibrio Jenificus's avatar

What. The fuck. Is wrong. With Texas. Do these people not see what is happening to them, or are they really all that paranoid that they believe it is all "God's will or somebody else's fault"?

RevZafod's avatar

It's the summer heat in rural areas that fries the tiny brains they were born with. Those who move to urban areas with A/C early enough have a chance.

As Phil Sheridan said, "If I owned Hell and Texas, I'd live in Hell and rent out Texas."

Also why I mostly stay indoors during daylight in deepest summer. BTW, I moved here from NoVa in 1973, and try living in the D.C. area swamp in summer. They don't call it "nova" for nuttin'."

Lizzietish81's avatar

Which is perfect for a bunch of pubescent girls if you think about it

jaz h's avatar

must've been a republican mayor bought the statue. if it was a gold statue, it wouldn't have become discoloured. but a brass statue, which would look like gold, would become discoloured. he obviously pocketed the difference between brass and gold and then blamed everybody else!

It's Just Toomush's avatar

They had to put that statue behind the Green Door....

It's Just Toomush's avatar

Yes. Try doing it right!...

Jan_in_the_pan's avatar

"Worth the Wait" sounds like "True Love Waits" lamer sibling.

Jaime Oria's avatar

What - no parable of "The Town Bicycle"?

Incoming Ham's avatar

Did anyone tell these kids that the Purity ring is supposed to be on their fingers and not...

OrdinaryJoe's avatar

The derp of Texas is upon youuuuuu.....

Incoming Ham's avatar

I was thinking that they mistook them for magical cock rings.

default's avatar

Where I live, these young ladysluts are ritually stoned every day at 4:20.

Incoming Ham's avatar

Unfortunately yes. He may be using one both ways. Don't think about that too much, you'll go blind.