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Texas Veterans Hospital Looking Forward To Its Death Threats Over Fox News's Dumb 'No Merry Christmas Cards' Lie
Here is a funny story, but it will probably not be funny to the Texas veterans hospital that is doubtless going to be the next institution to get a whole bunch of Good Christian Death Threats due to Fox News's pathological inability not to tell shitty and easily disproven "War on Christmas" lies:
Fox News is claiming that a group of angelic children is Sad because they were not allowed to distribute their Jesusy "Merry Christmas" cards to a group of hospitalized veterans who could surely use the little pick-me-up of knowing there are children out there who Care. But -- would you believe???!!1! -- buried deep in its own story, Fox News explains that this is a dumb lie! And that no such anti-Christmas policy exists! You will be shocked to learn that angry parents are running to Fox News to report on their oppression just as fast as their Hoverounds can carry them, and that the inimitable Todd Starnes is there to lead the pitchforks.
See, a group of children made Christmas cards for wounded warriors, but then the VA was all BAH HUMBUG Jesus is not the Reason for the Season, go away now, AND CRY. The parents were so mad, they went straight to Fox News and said how come we aren't allowed to bring our children's Christmas cards to these heroes? And then the VA was like "actually, yeah, if they'd bothered to bring us the cards, WHICH THEY DIDN'T, we would have separated out the religious ones and then gone around to the wounded troops individually and ASKED THEM IF THEY WOULD LIKE A RELIGIOUS CHRISTMAS CARD OR NOT."
Which is obviously the same as arresting all the Christians and putting them in the FEMA camps, which is about how Fox News's resident teller of eternal truths Todd Starnes explained it.Â
Here is Todd Starnes, lying:
A VA official quoted the policy which is in the Veterans Health Administration handbook:
"In order to be respectful of our veterans' religious beliefs, all donated holiday cards are reviewed by a multi-disciplinary team of staff led by chaplaincy services and determined if they are appropriate (non-religious) to freely distribute to patients. We regret this process was not fully explained to this group and apologize for any misunderstanding."
Can you guess what part of that quote Todd Starnes left out? It is a little bit of a doozy! Here is the quote in full, right from the story to which Todd Starnes linked in the first place: Â
"In order to be respectful of our Veterans religious beliefs, all donated holiday cards are reviewed by a multi-disciplinary team of staff led by Chaplaincy services and determined if they are appropriate (non-religious) to freely distribute to patients.After the review is complete, the holiday cards that reference religious and/or secular tones are then distributed by Chaplaincy Service on a one-on-one basis if the patient agrees to the religious reference in the holiday card donation.The holiday cards that do not contain religious and/or secular tones are distributed freely to patients across the Health Care System. We regret this process was not fully explained to this group and apologize for any misunderstanding."
We bolded it for you, to make it easier to spot the totally normal elision that does not belie Todd Starnes's completely honest column at all. Enjoy your death threats, VA North Texas Health Care System!
[ FoxOpinion / MyFoxDFW ]
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Texas Veterans Hospital Looking Forward To Its Death Threats Over Fox News's Dumb 'No Merry Christmas Cards' Lie
War on Christmas just got real, man! Now they're countering our formerly unstoppable Jesus bombs with review panels! Our cardbines have been rendered ineffective and our ho-ho-ho-witzers can't penetrate that kind of armor!
You&#039;d think having an omnipotent god in your corner, you wouldn&#039;t need a fuckstick like Todd Starnes to actually have to <i>bend the truth</i> in order to win people over to &quot;your side.&quot;
Good going, Todd. You&#039;re doing your part to help the christianists lose a war that exists even less than their deity!