The rule for today is mostly Nice Time posts. Everyone already knows what happened in 2016; we don't really have to repeat it. But Jesus Fuck, was everything terrible. We ran out of money! (But you sent more.) We laid off Robyn! (But she still comes part-time.) We bought a house! And the week we moved in, Shy's dad fucking died.
I spend hours each day at sites that exist to talk about Meghan Markle. They say she's scared of what Prince Andrew could tell about her early life before she met Harry. How Prince Philip saw through her on Day 1. And her single-minded destruction of the "Royal Family," which is just the dearest family ever. Also, Harry's helplessness in her mangling pointy metal fingers. I suggest ideas to them-- ideas that can't possibly co-exist with their positions and the owners of the sites.
So I can barely understand all you guys being nice, and not making claims except ones we all agree on. I just have to say thank you.
Happy New Year and Thank You Wonkette and the banned commentariate. You have helped to preserve my sanity and any hope there is decency left in the world. Ironic that comes from such a bunch of nasty, vile pervs. Party up see you in 2017
Thanks, Wonkette! Sure, lots of rotten stuff happened in this last year, but not everything (I got to see my Hillary really shine, even if she didn't win). And one THE REALLY REALLY GOOD THINGS was being here with all of you, wonkastaff, wonketarians, and babbies who surreptitiously get their moms and friends to post awesome pics. And the drinkey thing in September when wonderful wonkers gathered for food and drink and talk and sun and roses, and our party was crashed by CELEBRITIES (no, it wasn't John Boehner). And all of it really, including an election night rant from a certain Editrix that helped me get through it all.
Speaking of children and parents, I promised my mother that I would do something cultural every year, so here is my 2016 cultural offering:
Twas the Morning of New Year's
Twas the morning of New Year's, and all through the houseNot a creature was stirring, not teetotaller, nor souse.The family was hung --their heads buzzing like hives,Having had so much drink, they felt barely alive.
The children were nestled all smug in their bunks,While the grownups had partied, then passed out like drunks.While mamma, on her knees of the bathroom floor tilesCasting up her accounts, smelled excessively vile.
I'd drowned in the stew of the sheets on my bed,While still garbed in the clothes I was too drunk to shed.My room too was fouled by a rank smelling spoor --I'd thrown up in my mouth, and also on the floor.
While out on the lawn there were bottles and splatter --The dew reeked of booze, and the bottles were shattered.Also to the east, the sun's bright baleful glareForced its way passed the blinds of our foul-smelling lair.
When the sun reached its zenith in the sky overheadSomeone knocked on our door with a fist made of lead.They knocked on our door, and they jangled our chimes,Till my head hurt so much, I could not think of rhymes.
While that motherless driver leaned hard on the horn,His friend hammered and rang, as my migraine was bornMy wife, just as I, thought this no peccadillo,As she grunted and cursed, while her teeth tore her pillow.
Till finally they went, with a grinding or gears,And a squealing of tires, those loud cavaliers.But I heard him shout out, this dread epilogue,“We left pork sausage pizza, but no hair of the dog.”
That screen grab of Wonkette Babby in Mika's arms is perfect; she's looking right at us as if to say, "I know, right? I hate Morning Joe too". Super pics, all of them.
Happy New Year to all Wonkette and all the Wonketeers. Fingers crossed and chin up for 2017. Maybe this will be the year Wonkette finally allows comments. XO!
I spend hours each day at sites that exist to talk about Meghan Markle. They say she's scared of what Prince Andrew could tell about her early life before she met Harry. How Prince Philip saw through her on Day 1. And her single-minded destruction of the "Royal Family," which is just the dearest family ever. Also, Harry's helplessness in her mangling pointy metal fingers. I suggest ideas to them-- ideas that can't possibly co-exist with their positions and the owners of the sites.
So I can barely understand all you guys being nice, and not making claims except ones we all agree on. I just have to say thank you.
Happy New Year and Thank You Wonkette and the banned commentariate. You have helped to preserve my sanity and any hope there is decency left in the world. Ironic that comes from such a bunch of nasty, vile pervs. Party up see you in 2017
Isn't there the mysterious and possibly theoretical "Mountain Time" to consider?
Well, since we're apparently "enemies" of Dear Leader, you never know ...
Thats right Gollum.
It helped so much to have this site this year. Thank you all.
We move forward and we fight on. There is some drinking too also.
Slainte
rt
Yeah, but that only gets me an hour to prep whichever bunker I'll need.
Thanks, Wonkette! Sure, lots of rotten stuff happened in this last year, but not everything (I got to see my Hillary really shine, even if she didn't win). And one THE REALLY REALLY GOOD THINGS was being here with all of you, wonkastaff, wonketarians, and babbies who surreptitiously get their moms and friends to post awesome pics. And the drinkey thing in September when wonderful wonkers gathered for food and drink and talk and sun and roses, and our party was crashed by CELEBRITIES (no, it wasn't John Boehner). And all of it really, including an election night rant from a certain Editrix that helped me get through it all.
So thanks. And have a goddammed Happy New Year!
Kinda the same here, but the trips to Athens are more than occasional. So there's that.
Speaking of children and parents, I promised my mother that I would do something cultural every year, so here is my 2016 cultural offering:
Twas the Morning of New Year's
Twas the morning of New Year's, and all through the houseNot a creature was stirring, not teetotaller, nor souse.The family was hung --their heads buzzing like hives,Having had so much drink, they felt barely alive.
The children were nestled all smug in their bunks,While the grownups had partied, then passed out like drunks.While mamma, on her knees of the bathroom floor tilesCasting up her accounts, smelled excessively vile.
I'd drowned in the stew of the sheets on my bed,While still garbed in the clothes I was too drunk to shed.My room too was fouled by a rank smelling spoor --I'd thrown up in my mouth, and also on the floor.
While out on the lawn there were bottles and splatter --The dew reeked of booze, and the bottles were shattered.Also to the east, the sun's bright baleful glareForced its way passed the blinds of our foul-smelling lair.
When the sun reached its zenith in the sky overheadSomeone knocked on our door with a fist made of lead.They knocked on our door, and they jangled our chimes,Till my head hurt so much, I could not think of rhymes.
While that motherless driver leaned hard on the horn,His friend hammered and rang, as my migraine was bornMy wife, just as I, thought this no peccadillo,As she grunted and cursed, while her teeth tore her pillow.
Till finally they went, with a grinding or gears,And a squealing of tires, those loud cavaliers.But I heard him shout out, this dread epilogue,“We left pork sausage pizza, but no hair of the dog.”
Wee Mousie, 2016
Feliz año nuevo.
May your horse not pee-pee on your shoe! And the Devil not look at you in the coming year!
since there are no comments, I assumed all these commenters were in my head!
That screen grab of Wonkette Babby in Mika's arms is perfect; she's looking right at us as if to say, "I know, right? I hate Morning Joe too". Super pics, all of them.
Happy New Year to all Wonkette and all the Wonketeers. Fingers crossed and chin up for 2017. Maybe this will be the year Wonkette finally allows comments. XO!
Thank you for these, I've not smiled yet in the new year, and just did. Big, pixel, virtual hug, my lovely pretend internet friends!
She did win, Sister, she was ratfucked.