Thanksgiving Wonkette Movie Matinee: Addams Family Values

'I'm just like any modern woman trying to have it all. Loving husband, a family. It's just, I wish I had more time to seek out the dark forces and join their hellish crusade.'

From the first notes of the harpsichord you know what is coming next.

Snap! Snap!

They're creepy and they're kooky

Mysterious and spooky

They're all together ooky

And that's why we love them! The Addams Family movies are adapted from Charles Addams's New Yorker cartoons that were developed into a TV series that premiered on Sept. 18, 1964.

A family that many of us would have liked to be a part of, because even though they are creepy, they also truly love each other and accept everyone as they are.

Addams Family Values (1993) is the second film in the series and probably the best of the three, with Joan Cusack as Debbie, a black widow who has set her sights on Uncle Fester. The family now has a baby named Pubert, who shares his father's mustache. Debbie has tricked the Addams parents into sending the two older children away and Wednesday and Pugsley are stuck in a nightmare of a summer camp, Camp Chippewa. They are locked into the "Harmony Hut" with Joel Glicker (David Krumholtz). The three are forced to watch Disney movies in order to make them happy campers. They join with the other kids who are treated as outsiders, and with Wednesday leading the way, the group of misfits sets out to tell the true story of Thanksgiving instead of the whitewashed version the counselors have written. Wednesday gives this speech dressed as Pocahontas:

"We cannot break bread with you. You have taken the land which is rightfully ours. Years from now, my people will be forced to live in mobile homes on reservations. Your people will wear cardigans and drink highballs. We will sell our bracelets by the roadsides. You will play golf and enjoy hot hors d’oeuvres. My people will have pain and degradation. Your people will have stick shifts.”

The group of outsiders then destroy the stage as Wednesday lights the match to burn it all down. Joel and Wednesday share a kiss as the Addams siblings escape the camp through a fence with Joel's help. Wednesday and Pugsley rush home in a stolen camp van to save their uncle.

Christina Ricci as Wednesday Addams

Raul Julia is Gomez, a hopeless romantic. Of Castilian descent, he has a pencil thin black mustache, dresses in fine suits, and nearly always has a cigar between his teeth. The words “Cara Mía” are often spoken passionately to his beloved wife, Morticia.

Anjelica Huston is Morticia, the rock in the family, an exceptional woman who dresses in black gowns that splay out around her feet, giving her the appearance of floating as she moves. Morticia’s pale skin contrasts with her raven colored hair and dark eyes that are always seemingly lit by a spotlight. Her lips and nails are blood red.

Anjelica Huston as Morticia Addams

Christina Ricci is Wednesday, who steals the show with a quick wit, intelligence and an almost adorable wickedness. She enjoys torturing her brother who seems to enjoy being tortured.

Jimmy Workman is Pugsley, seemingly the most normal in the family, who willingly goes along with his sister Wednesday's demented plans.

Christopher Lloyd is Uncle Fester, Gomez's brother who is his total opposite, bald and thick bodied with dark circles around his eyes and a deathly pallor. But he is a silly and happy man with childlike innocence. He entertains his niece and nephew by putting a light bulb in his mouth and lighting it with his own electricity.

The other characters who inhabit the Addams' world are their butler Lurch, an imposing figure known for saying "You rang?" when called upon. Thing is a disembodied hand with a mind of its own, always magically appearing where he is needed most. Cousin Itt is all hair, wears a handsome bowler hat, and speaks an indiscernible language that is totally understood by those who love him.

Addams Family Values was directed by Barry Sonnenfeld and written by Paul Rudnick.

Addams Family Values is available for free with ads on Pluto TV. With subscription on Prime and Paramount+. $3.99 in the usual places.

To make requests and see the movie lists and schedules, go to WonkMovie.

Our cartoon is the adorable and hilarious Simon’s Cat with a collection of Thanksgiving shorts.

Find me on Bluesky as ziggywiggy.