That Time Russians Tried To Hit Up The Trump Campaign But Jared Accidentally Hit The 'Fuck You' Button

STUPID

Last week, Wonkette was very curious about a line from the Senate Judiciary Committee's latest letter to Jared Kushner, demanding that he please release ALL his Russian emails and other communications. Committee chair Chuck Grassley and vice chair Dianne Feinstein wrote that Kushner had omitted something about a "Russian backdoor overture and dinner invite," and EXCUSE US, WHAT? 

This weekend, NBC reported the story out, and this is what they found:

An email chain described Aleksander Torshin, a former senator and deputy head of Russia's central bank who is close to Russian President Vladimir Putin, as wanting Trump to attend an event on the sidelines of a National Rifle Association convention in Louisville, Kentucky, in May 2016, the sources said. The email also suggests Torshin was seeking to meet with a high-level Trump campaign official during the convention, and that he may have had a message for Trump from Putin, the sources said.

Kushner's lawyer, Abbe Lowell, is claiming his client came out of this interaction all squeaky clean, because he emailed Trump campaign people saying they should "pass" on this invitation. Here's what Kushner said in his BUT HER EMAILS:

"A lot of people come claiming to carry messages. Very few we are able to verify. For now I think we decline such meetings."

He didn't want to take a Russian conspiracy invitation unless he was sure it was a REAL Russian conspiracy invitation, you see.

But it was real! Fucking fiddlesticks, dude. At that point Russians were treating the entire Trump campaign like the index in Pokemon Go (because you have to catch them all, those are the rules), but oh nuts, Jared ran away! (This time. We are confident they caught Jared multiple times.)

Weirdly, Torshin still managed to catch a Trump idiot to chill with at that 2016 NRA convention dinner, and it was DERP DERP JUNIOR! Probably just a huge Russian coincidence:

Torshin was seated with the candidate's son, Donald Trump Jr., during a private dinner on the sidelines of a May 2016 NRA event during the convention in Louisville, according to an account Torshin gave to Bloomberg.

Yeah, here's that Bloomberg story if you want to read it. Junior's lawyer, Alan Futerfas, says HIS client came out of this squeaky clean because they DID NOT EITHER share a table at dinner. It was just that an "acquaintance" wanted Junior to meet Torshin, so they said "Bro!" to each other real fast, then they said bye and went back to finish their meal, which was mac 'n' cheese with special penis gun-shaped pasta, which looks just like regular penis pasta, allegedly. No word on who the "acquaintance" was, but it was clearly some intermediary or cut-out who knew both men.

And who is this Torshin chap anyway? He's a former member of the Russian Duma (parliament), an old FSB guy (by which we mean a spy), and NBC says he's been identified as a Russian mafia "godfather." He's also an NRA member and a major gunhumper. He's been mentioned in the august pages of Wonkette before, in a story about a weird delegation -- including former Milwaukee Sheriff David Clarke -- the NRA sent to Moscow for a Russian gathering of gunhumpers. It happened the same week in December 2015 as Michael Flynn was in Russia for that nice RT gala, where he had dinner with Vladimir Putin and Jill Stein. While there, the NRA group met with Dmitry Rogozin, an inner circle Putin deputy subject to sanctions. We don't know if the two groups of Trump idiots who perchance went to Russia the same week for totally different reasons had a chance to get together for fun and fellowship, but we bet they did.

Clarke's trip to Russia was partially funded by a Russian gunhumper group called The Right To Bear Arms, started by a Russian lady named Maria Butina, who lives in DC now, who worked for the Trump campaign, who is probably a spy (just like Torshin!), and who "brazenly claimed that she had been part of the Trump campaign’s communications with Russia" just after the election, according to the Daily Beast. She also used to work for Torshin.

Hey, Butina is US-based! Wonder if she was the one who so badly wanted Torshin and Junior to meet. (She does   seem to go to every NRA convention, so we're gonna guess she's probably involved in this.)

ANYWAY. This is just another great story about weird connections between the Trump campaign and Russians. Just remember, no matter what, that Jared Kushner is innocent of all Russian crimes past, present and future, because he says so. 

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[ NBC ]