Two turtles were involved in a head-on collision. Cop arrives and there is only one eye witness. "Can you describe the accident?" the cop says. The snail replies, "It just all happened so fast".
Dr Bronner was serious? I always assumed 1) he didn't actually exist and 2) his company was started by a bunch of hippies that were pranking everyone. In more modern terms, a Poe.
Good luck, ICE, with trying to recruit my millenial/gen-z kids (or whatever made-up generational names we are using for everyone who came after the final generation, x). They both think you should fuck yourselves with a ball of rusty barb wire, ICE. And I concur.
So the shelter vet requested more blood work for Wanda. Iβm really concerned that the trip to town, and taking blood out of this frail, tiny cat, will just be too much for her. Which maybe tells me something right there. This is gonna be tough.
If it was my decision, I would not take her in. When I picked her up as a medical foster, I signed a piece of paper that said I would follow their instructions and surrender her if they requested at any time. I donβt wanna give them any reason to just say bring her in so we can euthanize. Iβm not saying they would, but Iβm just limited here.
Yeah, sheβs still too sick to adopt her out. Their normal course of events with an animal with her needs is euthanasia. The plan is hopefully to get her healthy enough to eventually make her adoptable. The advantage from my point of view is that that means theyβre gonna cover the cost of her bloodwork and her dental work while they still are the responsible party. Iβm just a medical foster right now.
" Vaccine uptakes way the fuck down, as all of a sudden the kind of people who would never trust βgovernmentβ are listening to RFK Jr. over their own pediatricians. So thatβs fucked!"
Thatβs what you get when you have βfreedom of speechβ and donβt criminally punish people for lying about reality.
Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem drew swift backlash on Tuesday after unveiling plans for a new migrant detention center in Indiana β which she dubbed the βSpeedway Slammer.β
In a post on X (formerly Twitter), Noem announced a partnership with Indiana Gov. Mike Braun (R) to expand detention capacity by 1,000 beds at Miami Correctional Facility near Bunker Hill.
It will βhelp remove the worst of the worst out of our country,β she wrote. βCOMING SOON to Indiana: The Speedway Slammer.β
I canβt prove that Butterworths bar that caters to young conservatives has a an off menu drink called βToxic Masculinityβ made with PBR, Jim Beam and tobacco juice served in a novelty βboobβ mug, I just know itβs true.
"Lindsey Langston, who was crowned Miss United States in October 2024 and a Florida Republican state committee member, said she was in a relationship with U.S. Rep. Cory Mills (R-Fla.) for over three years, and has accused the congressman of threatening to release sexually explicit images of her, including videos of the two of them having sex, after she broke up with him, according to a police report obtained by multiple news outlets. Langston said Mills contacted her multiple times with the threats after she broke up with him earlier this year, according to a report she filed with the Columbia County Sheriffβs Department on July 14.
Mills has previously faced an investigation over allegations that he assaulted another woman, who was not his wife, on Feb. 19 at a Washington apartment. Mills, who denied wrongdoing, was not charged. Langston, who claims she started a relationship with Mills in November 2021, told the sheriffβs department she broke up with Mills upon learning of that alleged assault."
I've been mad at Democrats since Martha Coakley lost a winnable Senate election to Scott Fucking Brown, which got me to start paying more attention and realizing that the Democratic Party is really good at losing winnable elections. And I don't think that's because the candidates are too centrist/progressive/conservative, I think that's because they are routinely beaten tactically and strategically by their GOP opponents, who realize an increasingly big part of winning elections does not involve ideas, character, or morality.
Baby elephant gif! The details about her: https://martiniambassador.substack.com/p/sunnys-new-baby
And your meme chat, already hopping this morning: https://open.substack.com/chat/posts/6680053e-a1a8-40cf-b55d-bf6675e0a6c1?utm_source=share
So very sweet. Thanks Martini.
I'm a sucker for a baby elephant any time, any day.
AWWWWWWWWW! Babby elephant plotz! I love them.
Dad joke.
A guy calls the cops and says he was mugged by an elephant.
When the cop arrives he asks for a description of the assailant.
The guy sez "Well I dunno, it was a elephant."
The cop asks "Well, was it an African elephant or an Asian elephant?"
The guy sez "How can you tell?"
The cop explains that African elephants have large ears and Asian elephants have small ones.
The guy sez "I couldn't tell he had a stocking over his head."
son, you got a panty on your head.
https://www.youtube.com/clip/UgkxXHQPMvipMfdyVbJDqRWfLBy1saQqvx2E
i like to pretend nick cage never made any other movies.
I liked the Martin Short scene better:
https://youtu.be/8Ys46K4doe4?t=21
Two turtles were involved in a head-on collision. Cop arrives and there is only one eye witness. "Can you describe the accident?" the cop says. The snail replies, "It just all happened so fast".
We'll be here all week. Tip your server.
Try the veal.
That's a LOT of baby to skritch. I am ready and willing.π
What a gorgeous babby!
"After almost two years of pregnancy..." Let us pause here and marvel, π΅πΈπ° fuckin' πΊπ¦π’π³π΄!
"Sundra (βSunnyβ), a 16-year-old Asian elephant at the Columbus Zoo in Powell, Ohio, has given birth to a healthy female calf..."
Congratulations, Sunny! You've made the world a better place! I am grateful for your efforts!
FDR said that Congress was like elephants mating: a lot of commotion in high places, but it takes two years for anything to come of it.
OBLIGATORY BABBY EPHALUMP NOIZ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9RPQKV6ijBY
Yay!
/phlegmy Attenborough voice
Here we see the Babby Ephelant freshly emerged from the chrysalis. Once exposed to the air, it's ears will unfurl to show their true majesty.
Cute baby.
Just reading your summaries of the TABS! is making me depressed.
I did like the bit where the blame is finally falling on Dem leaders and not the lack of party cohesiveness.
Agreed. Getting harder and harder to stay informed even through Wonkette.
The only things I watch closely now are the weather and sports.
Can't stomach sports either. The Weather Channel is about it!
So that was an e-baby yawn!
Babby heffalump!
WHAR Woozles?!
Yay! The cutest snooziest babies!
(Have you seen the video of the giraffe and the turtle!?)
We would be better off if elephants were running the country than the assholes currently in charge.
At least theyβd remember what they did!
Odd that the symbol of the GQP is an elephant. Elephants have a matriarchal system.
But the elephant that was first used to symbolize Republicans, in a 19th century cartoon by Nast, was a stampeding male in must.
It's OK, I'm pretty sure very, very few Republicans are aware of that fact.
If I were an elephant, I'd be extremely pissed that the GOP uses an elephant as its symbol.
Dr Bronner was serious? I always assumed 1) he didn't actually exist and 2) his company was started by a bunch of hippies that were pranking everyone. In more modern terms, a Poe.
Dok's dissertation! Thank you so much for sharing that.
Huh. I thought the only seafood grizzlies ate was salmon. Apparently they also like kraken.
https://www.nbcnews.com/sports/nhl/video-captures-moment-seattle-kraken-mascot-chased-charging-bear-rcna223211?utm_source=firefox-newtab-en-us
Good luck, ICE, with trying to recruit my millenial/gen-z kids (or whatever made-up generational names we are using for everyone who came after the final generation, x). They both think you should fuck yourselves with a ball of rusty barb wire, ICE. And I concur.
In completely unrelated news, here are the four baby skunks that live in my garden, behind the compost pile: https://youtu.be/HLSKnDzvrxM?si=_G_dc4hbWEjsgmsB
So the shelter vet requested more blood work for Wanda. Iβm really concerned that the trip to town, and taking blood out of this frail, tiny cat, will just be too much for her. Which maybe tells me something right there. This is gonna be tough.
I'd postpone the bloodwork until she's a little healthier. If she doesn't get healthier, then no amount of blood tests will help, I think?
If it was my decision, I would not take her in. When I picked her up as a medical foster, I signed a piece of paper that said I would follow their instructions and surrender her if they requested at any time. I donβt wanna give them any reason to just say bring her in so we can euthanize. Iβm not saying they would, but Iβm just limited here.
Oh, I didnβt know they maintained βownershipβ.
Yeah, sheβs still too sick to adopt her out. Their normal course of events with an animal with her needs is euthanasia. The plan is hopefully to get her healthy enough to eventually make her adoptable. The advantage from my point of view is that that means theyβre gonna cover the cost of her bloodwork and her dental work while they still are the responsible party. Iβm just a medical foster right now.
" Vaccine uptakes way the fuck down, as all of a sudden the kind of people who would never trust βgovernmentβ are listening to RFK Jr. over their own pediatricians. So thatβs fucked!"
Thatβs what you get when you have βfreedom of speechβ and donβt criminally punish people for lying about reality.
Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem drew swift backlash on Tuesday after unveiling plans for a new migrant detention center in Indiana β which she dubbed the βSpeedway Slammer.β
In a post on X (formerly Twitter), Noem announced a partnership with Indiana Gov. Mike Braun (R) to expand detention capacity by 1,000 beds at Miami Correctional Facility near Bunker Hill.
It will βhelp remove the worst of the worst out of our country,β she wrote. βCOMING SOON to Indiana: The Speedway Slammer.β
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/kristi-noem-new-migrant-center-name_n_6892f411e4b07e7958a124ec
Toast and Tab's with coffee in the Morning βπ―π
I canβt prove that Butterworths bar that caters to young conservatives has a an off menu drink called βToxic Masculinityβ made with PBR, Jim Beam and tobacco juice served in a novelty βboobβ mug, I just know itβs true.
Thanks for the wabbit link - I started reading it years ago, never finished. Back on the to-do list!
https://bsky.app/profile/lostcatdog.bsky.social/post/3lvq7xjf4gk2c
Washington Post: βIs fascism bad? The answer may surprise youβ
Teen Vogue: βHere are three fun tips you can use this summer to disable an armored personnel carrierβ
"Lindsey Langston, who was crowned Miss United States in October 2024 and a Florida Republican state committee member, said she was in a relationship with U.S. Rep. Cory Mills (R-Fla.) for over three years, and has accused the congressman of threatening to release sexually explicit images of her, including videos of the two of them having sex, after she broke up with him, according to a police report obtained by multiple news outlets. Langston said Mills contacted her multiple times with the threats after she broke up with him earlier this year, according to a report she filed with the Columbia County Sheriffβs Department on July 14.
Mills has previously faced an investigation over allegations that he assaulted another woman, who was not his wife, on Feb. 19 at a Washington apartment. Mills, who denied wrongdoing, was not charged. Langston, who claims she started a relationship with Mills in November 2021, told the sheriffβs department she broke up with Mills upon learning of that alleged assault."
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/cory-mills-accused-of-threatening-ex-girlfriend_n_68932a0ce4b0d3424bc461dd
Is he a drag queen?
Wabbit Literacy
"This dissertation has been submitted in partial fulfillment of requirements for an
advanced degree at The University of Arizona"
The other requirement is beer pong proficiency.
I've been mad at Democrats since Martha Coakley lost a winnable Senate election to Scott Fucking Brown, which got me to start paying more attention and realizing that the Democratic Party is really good at losing winnable elections. And I don't think that's because the candidates are too centrist/progressive/conservative, I think that's because they are routinely beaten tactically and strategically by their GOP opponents, who realize an increasingly big part of winning elections does not involve ideas, character, or morality.
Anyone who has young boys and hasnβt watched the series βAdolescenceβ needs to watch it. Itβs a difficult but necessary story.
I thought it was excellent!