450 Comments
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BLUEBOLT's avatar

So looking forward to ALL of those psychotic things get charged with war crimes, murder and crimes against humanity

Robert Eckert's avatar

"In keeping with long-standing Department of War policy, Department of Defense policy, of course we’re not going to release a top-secret, full, unedited video..."

There hasn't been a "Department of War" since the Truman administration, and at that time "video" did not exist as we now understand it. Is he referring to WWII-era policies about Pathe' newsreel films?

No Bones About It's avatar

But what about the disparate lengths of Kegstand's sideburns? Can anyone decode?

Biff52 Lost Canadian's avatar

Land and oil

rhymes with

blood and soil.

Zyxomma's avatar

Ta, Evan. We the people are not distracted:

epstein! Epstein!! EPstein!!! EPSTEIN!!!! E-P-S-T-E-I-N!!!!!! ad infinitum.

Karen Krebser's avatar

It's like the only qualification you need to work in this goddamn administration is how willing you are to have yourself filmed being hit in the face with a frying pan and then turning to the camera and saying, with all seriousness, how awful it was that your teeth got knocked out by Venezuelan immigrant rapist drug dealers.

Lionel “8647” Hutz's avatar

"SECRETARY OF WAR and his team of NO BEARDO WARFIGHTERS"

Hmmm . . . if you want warriors without beards, does that mean that Hic!seth now wants an all female Army?

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

No beardos. An all female Army not married to Republicans.

Lionel “8647” Hutz's avatar

I would hate to be the poor admiral in the navy that has to explain to the proven rapist and hater of our troops Trump that he can't surround most of Venezuela as it is not an island.

Trump will probably demand that a canal will be build around the country first. But only after they first build a ballroom in Venezuela, as every president since the time of the Caesars have wanted a ballroom in Venezuela.

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

I asked for a ballroom in Venezuela for Christmas, and Santa told me I was being unreasonable.

KEITH TAYLOR's avatar

By all means release the full, unredacted Epstein files. Because the full, unredacted Epstein files will without doubt show that ...

Human trafficking? Drugs? Well, yes, Donald Trump does know a great deal about that.

jltympanum's avatar

The Dept of Defense has been renamed to its old name of War Department. But why stop there? Let Daylight Saving Time revert to its WWI and WWII name War Time.

GrannysKnitting's avatar

that is what this is about tho - distraction from the files due to be released on the 20th

CakesWeLike's avatar

Who wants to better Preznit Fuckwit doesn't know the difference between America, United States of, and the continents of North and South America. Old Pudding Brain probably thinks the fact that the continents both have the word "America" in them it means they belong to the USA, meaning him.

Mexfiles's avatar

I thought that went out of fashion about the time Vice President John C. Calhoun realized the other Americas are overwhelmingly NOT Ango-Saxons.

CakesWeLike's avatar

Well, Trump obviously thinks of himself as an old fashioned coloniser. The population being non-Anglo-Saxon at the moment just makes him want to take over and replace them with paler faces.

CakesWeLike's avatar

And the curse of autocorrect strikes again.

That should have said "bet", not "better".

And why the hell wont Substack let me edit my comments on the mobile app? Do better, Substack.

The G-7 Experience's avatar

Why did the Hed make me think of , "Not Penny's Boat"...??????

Bitter Scribe's avatar

𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘮𝘱 𝘢𝘥𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘐𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘊𝘳𝘪𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘊𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘵 𝘪𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘐𝘊𝘊 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴𝘯’𝘵 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘦 𝘪𝘵 𝘸𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘴𝘦𝘤𝘶𝘵𝘦 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘮𝘱 𝘳𝘦𝘨𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘤𝘳𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘵 𝘩𝘶𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘵𝘺.

Holy shit...WHAT????

They're threatening the ICC IN ADVANCE??

Keeee-ripes. 𝘚𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘺 has a guilty conscience.

fair_n_hite_451's avatar

Pretty sure the ICC was all "oh no, we're shakin' in our boots over here". America already doesn't "belong" to the ICC and contributes zero funds. What is Trump going to do? Say mean things about them? Give them a stupid nickname?

Bitter Scribe's avatar

America can actually do a lot to hurt the ICC through full sanctions: fuck up their financial accounts, restrict their ability to travel and enter the U.S. (tough to do an investigation if you can't get into the country), and other stuff. It's not an empty threat, by any means.

But it would be a huge step in making us into even more of an international pariah than we've already become.

fair_n_hite_451's avatar

Your response assumes that the sanctions would be formulated by someone with a rational mind in order to do damage. Not sure WHERE you'd get the idea that might happen.

And, even if the maladministration gets around to doing something that actually causes some damage, the ICC will just say "ok, sure, yer good" with their fingers crossed behind their back until Trump, et al are no longer in power and then down comes the hammer.

Hank Napkin's avatar

We Follow the Trump Doctrine of Unprovoked Dicking!

RMKH's avatar

Wargasm, wargasm, one two three - from the song Wargasm by LA's greatest band, L7