That's PETE HEGSETH'S Boat Murder Jerkoff Porno Movie, YOU CAN'T WATCH IT
He might accidentally put it on Signal, though, so reporters should watch out for that.
Yesterday, the least qualified Defense secretary in human history, AKA Secretary Shitfaced J. McGee, announced that he had killed some more people in the middle of the ocean, and demanded we just trust that they were super bad guys come to kill us all with fentanyl, despite how all the available evidence shows that none of the random people they’re dismembering at sea fit that description, and haven’t even been headed for the United States. Also, no fentanyl even comes from Venezuela!
But that’s fine, because nobody is really pretending Stupid Hitler’s regime is doing this because of drugs. They just like murdering people, and President “No More Stupid Wars” wants to start a war for oil. (More on that in a second.)
Shitfaced J. McGee also announced that he wouldn’t be releasing the full video of the double tap strike that’s the subject of so much controversy, the one where it certainly appears the chain of command went back to finish murdering two guys who didn’t get murdered the first time Hegseth hit them with one of his famous “lethal kinetic strikes.”
(Anybody else laugh every time Shitfaced says “lethal kinetic strike”? Like, sure, those words have a meaning, and we imagine Shitfaced only recently learned them, since he doesn’t have much advanced military experience, but the way he says it it’s super clear it’s kind of like WARFIGHTER for him and his masculinity issues. SECRETARY OF WAR and his team of NO BEARDO WARFIGHTERS did another LETHAL KINETIC STRIKE! Sure, buddy, happens to all guys!)
Anyway, here is Shitfaced, explaining that the Pentagon won’t be releasing that full video, because of Defense Department “tradition.” You know how concerned he’s always been with that.
“In keeping with long-standing Department of War policy, Department of Defense policy, of course we’re not going to release a top-secret, full, unedited video of that to the general public,” Hegseth said after a classified briefing with senators. “Appropriate committees will see it, but not the general [public].”
“Of course” he’s not going to let the general public see it, “of course” not.
For one thing, the only copy exists on VHS and he hasn’t rewound it and it’s all sticky and you can’t have it, because it’s his murder porno video. You know, allegedly.
But hey, speaking of Pete Hegseth’s well-documented masculinity issues, when you ask yourself the real reason they aren’t releasing this full video, take a moment to consider that in any other world, if there was a video he thought would make him look like a total badass who kills people all the time whenever he wants, he would be forcing us all to watch that video 24/7. He would have his former Fox News work wife Will Cain playing it on a loop. He would be tweeting it hourly.
You know, unless he has a very real fear that the evidence on this video might be the thing that gets him sent to The Hague, or possibly prosecuted for straight-up murder. (Probably related: The Trump administration is threatening to sanction the International Criminal Court if the ICC doesn’t promise it won’t prosecute Trump regime people for all their crimes against humanity.)
Senator Chris Coons noted yesterday that they literally already are releasing every other video. “It is hard to square the widespread, routine, prompt posting of detailed videos of every strike, with a concern that posting a portion of the video of the first strike would violate a variety of classification concerns.” Yeeeeeah.
So that’s what’s up with that. At the very least, every member of Congress should be able to see it, but really, the public should see it. Republican Rep. Don Bacon said yesterday that the public should see it.
Here is Democratic Senator Chris Murphy after yesterday’s briefings, explaining what he learned:
“The administration had no legal justification for these strikes, and had no national security justification for these strikes.” Also they admitted there was no fentanyl. And they admitted Venezuela is mainly exporting cocaine, and sending it to Europe. They are spending your tax dollars to stop cocaine from going to Europe. He said the classified briefing was only 45 minutes long, which in terms of classified briefings, means it could have been an email.
And here is Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez explaining what a joke the intelligence briefing was:
So here we are!
Committed to the lie, Donald Trump has designated fentanyl as WMD, so we guess he’s just going to copy/paste whatever made-up justifications the Bush administration used to lie us into Iraq, except the current warmongering lying motherfuckers aren’t even trying to get American opinion on their side. No saber-rattling. No trying to convince Americans that Venezuela is an imminent threat. Just WAR TIME!
Susie Wiles blabbed to Vanity Fair that Trump “wants to keep on blowing boats up until Maduro cries uncle,” which is definitely not something that any normal American supports.
And they think that’s going to work.
You betcha.
Tonight, Donald Trump will address the nation, sure whatever, sounds important. Will he announce a full-scale invasion of Venezuela, to distract from the Friday release of the Epstein Files? Maybe probably who knows.
He announced a full blockade of “sanctioned oil tankers” last night on Truth Social, in a babbling post where he also appeared to accuse Venezuela of stealing our land and oil.
Um, has somebody lied to Grandpa and told him Venezuela has seized Alabama? Because we are here to say that most Americans probably would … be generally fine with that?
We are just saying. But otherwise we have no clue what he is dementia-babbling about when he claims they’ve taken our land, or our oil, thank you for your attention to this matter.
Everything is fucking stupid.
Time for Pam Bondi to release the full, unredacted fucking Epstein Files.
[Politico]
Want to read more Evan than just what’s at Wonkette? Visit The Moral High Ground and subscribe to it!
Follow me on Instagram!
And on BlueSky!
And on Facebook!
Dear AOC, I love you so fucking much!!! Love, RRA.
I believe this is one kink I can definitely shame.