563 Comments
User's avatar
Martini Glambassador's avatar

It’s a lobster line up, captured by the spy in the wild. The reason for the formation and your source info are here: https://open.substack.com/pub/martiniambassador/p/lobstahs-linin-up

Expand full comment
Hello_who_dis's avatar

A lobster CONGA line

Expand full comment
David N. Brown's avatar

Spy In The Wild was awesome.

Expand full comment
Cock Blockula's avatar

Lobster centipede is how I'm seeing this.

Expand full comment
TootsStansbury 🇺🇦's avatar

Thundering herds of um lobsters, galloping across the vasty plains!

Expand full comment
Pere Ubu's avatar

Pamplona, Spain, and the annual running of the lobsters!

Expand full comment
The Blessed Reverend's avatar

Lotsa lawbstahs!

Expand full comment
Bagels of Doom's avatar

lobster conga!

Expand full comment
Shocktreatment's avatar

The dancing lobster secret is out! They do pretty well at Limbo dancing too, especially after cocktails. Every night, a party!

Expand full comment
Caepan's avatar

A lobster conga line!

Expand full comment
Ellie Alive In 25's avatar

Now, I almost don't want to eat lobster. Almost.

Expand full comment
ZorPern's avatar

I'd love to read even a fictionalized account of who the hell was the first person who decided that was something good to eat!

Expand full comment
Ellie Alive In 25's avatar

Especially oysters.....

Expand full comment
Stroke1's avatar

That reminds me of ...

A man is waiting in a line in the Soviet Union to get food. As he gets closer to the counter, he sees that most people are now walking away empty handed.

When his turn comes, he asks, "Hi comrade, I assume you are out of fish?" "No comrade, you are in the wrong place. We are out of meat. The store across the street is the one that is out of fish.''

He looks across the street and sees that the line for the fish store goes all the way around the block. Glumly, he takes his place at the end of the line. After waiting an hour, he's had enough. He tells the person next to him "That's it! Why should I have to wait in lines for hours every day, just to get enough food to eat? I'm going to go kill Stalin!"

He storms off to go and kill Stalin. However, half an hour later he's back in line in front of the fish store.

"What's the matter? Change your mind?" the person next to him asks.

"That line was even longer."

Expand full comment
Agent of Chaotic Respite's avatar

ROCK LOBSTER(s)!!!

https://youtu.be/szhJzX0UgDM

Expand full comment
Johnny Appleseed's avatar

"a rock?..."

Expand full comment
Richard S's avatar

Down, down, down......

Expand full comment
OneYieldRegular's avatar

Oh great, now I'm going to have Joni Mitchell's "The Jungle Line" running through my head all day except with "The Lobster Line" as key lyric.

Expand full comment
Craig Nixon's avatar

Under-rated Joni track right there. Includes Chaka Khan doing some vocals, IIRC.

Expand full comment
Craig Nixon's avatar

...or am I thinking of "Dreamland" with the Chaka thing? I slept late, and need coffee badly.

Expand full comment
Michael Bowen's avatar

You reminded me to listen to both, and it sounds like it's Dreamland that has Chaka Khan singing backup. They're both remarkable tracks and I remember her being savaged in Rolling Stone for both of those records. Listening to Don Juan's Reckless Daughter all the way through right now - thanks for the inadvertent suggestion!

Expand full comment
Craig Nixon's avatar

Yeah, music writers suck. Having been one, I know this. DJRD & Hejira both (they really play as one long album together) are freaking milestones.

Expand full comment
Michael Bowen's avatar

After listening to it again, DJRD is that classic '70s cliche, a double album that should have been a single. Getting rid of Paprika Plains and and two or three other tracks would have turned into a masterpiece like Hejira.

Expand full comment
OneYieldRegular's avatar

Yes, notoriously one of Rolling Stone's lowest moments, their trashing of "Hissing of Summer Lawns." Ouf.

Expand full comment
Bobathonic's avatar

Neat!

Expand full comment
Jus_Wonderin's avatar

I have not had enough coffee, yet, for the lobster line. Freaked me out.

Expand full comment
Menotsure's avatar

When winter comes and waters grow cold,

That's just how a lobster rolls.

Expand full comment
Richard Von Busack's avatar

We been spending most our lives

In a lobster's paradise

Expand full comment
paxpax's avatar

You’re a card; you should be dealt with

Expand full comment
Caepan's avatar

And at 52, he should be decked!

Expand full comment
CambridgeKnitter's avatar

No, no, no, at 52 you are finally playing with a full deck.

Expand full comment
Stroke1's avatar

BOO! BOO! gif goes here.

Expand full comment
Martini Glambassador's avatar

Nyuck nyuck nyuck!

Expand full comment
SkeptiKC's avatar

Those sea bugs are fascinating creatures.

Expand full comment
Johnny Appleseed's avatar

And tasty little sea bugs too!

Expand full comment
Stroke1's avatar

He was a mighty hungry motherfucker who first ate a lobster.

Expand full comment
𝔅𝔢𝔢𝔩𝔷𝔢𝔟𝔲𝔟𝔟𝔞's avatar

The first to slurp down an oyster was even hungrier.

Expand full comment
Dave's avatar

I had to be drunk

Expand full comment
Johnny Appleseed's avatar

Same. But not anymore (though, it helps).

Expand full comment
SkeptiKC's avatar

I still cannot fathom how or why anyone chose to attempt to consume one of those creatures for the first time.

Expand full comment
Eileen's avatar

Hunger.

Expand full comment
TootsStansbury 🇺🇦's avatar

I always figured the human saw something else eating one first.

Expand full comment
𝔅𝔢𝔢𝔩𝔷𝔢𝔟𝔲𝔟𝔟𝔞's avatar

They had all this melted butter, see...

Expand full comment
Stroke1's avatar

You see the present I left for you, way down there?

Expand full comment
Johnny Appleseed's avatar

With the Tilapia and the Flounder?

Expand full comment
Stroke1's avatar

They had to be.

Expand full comment
John Hampton's avatar

Evan, you are right about Mark Robinson, who is running for Governor here in NC. He is a conspiracy theorist's conspiracy theorist, homophobic, misogynistic, anti-abortion (no abortion in ANY circumstances) and seems to be running on hate alone. May I suggest that all Wonkers who are North Carolinians consider supporting his opponent, current NC Attorney General, Josh Stein, in any way that you can. Hey, even nonNC/nonWonker people can donate to his campaign; I have. Please, please, please help me, and others of like mind, to do everything possible to make Josh Stein the next Governor of North Carolina. Read about him on the following link, make a decision, and, if financial circumstances permit, throw as many dollars as you can his way. Thank you sincerely!

https://www.joshstein.org/ . OK, I see that an appeal to donate comes up first, but you can get by that and read up on Josh.

Expand full comment
rmontcal's avatar

(She hasn’t made a country record since the year after Barack Obama humiliated Trump at the White House Correspondents Dinner.)

I think all events should be referenced in this way! I was born 38 years before Obama humiliated Trump at the WHCD.

Expand full comment
eddi-SABH's avatar

Musical accompaniment for today's Tabs GIF. Raymond Scott's Powerhouse. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HnzLconK4Tw

Expand full comment
LP's avatar

Good stuff.

Expand full comment
Stranger Than Friction's avatar

Evan, I might not be your biggest fan, but I love you! Carry on, carry over, Cary Grant, but don't carry a gun! (Nods to Hawkeye Pierce) And now I'm a subscriber to The Moral High Ground. Andrew Tate can go fuck himself

Expand full comment
Wookiee Monster's avatar

I’ve been saying all along that Stinky would find an excuse to back out of the debates. It’s always projection on that right.

Expand full comment
Johnny Appleseed's avatar

Is he really backing out now? Well, I shouldn't be surprised if he is. He was promising to take the nitwit stand at more than one of his trials and reneged, every time.

Expand full comment
Wookiee Monster's avatar

So let me get this straight, the far right underperformed in the European Parliament elections and did not get close to a majority, but the media is still calling this a huge win for them?

What am I missing?

Expand full comment
fuflans's avatar

the far right is like poison ivy - even a little sucks.

Expand full comment
Wookiee Monster's avatar

Why was he taking Rudy seriously before Borat?

Expand full comment
J Frechette's avatar

Just sitting here listening to David Bowie and reading tabs, and in perfect synchronicity as I got to Mrs Alito and her fantasy Italian shame flag DB belted out "...and the shame was on the other side" (the song being 'Heroes'). Well played, eternal spirit of David Bowie sending messages from the other side, well played. Couldn't agree more.

Expand full comment
Stranger Than Friction's avatar

Evan, I am a subscriber to The Moral High Ground. I am may not be your biggest fan, but I love you. Carry on, carry over, Cary Grant--but don't carry a gun! (Nod to Hawkeye Pierce)

Expand full comment
ZorPern's avatar

Kudos to Cassidy Dale. Welcome relief from the fear of Project 2025 etc

Expand full comment
Mary Beth Brown's avatar

If I lived the the Alito neighborhood, my house would be rainbow painted SO fast! Hire the kids who painted the LGBTQ+ house across the street from the hateful Westboro Baptist Church and see how Martha and Sam like it. Free expression, and all that!

Expand full comment
Enter Ranting's avatar

I like the new direction at Red Lobster!

Expand full comment
Paul of Mount Pleasant's avatar

MIGAS is fine. YERGAS is not.

Expand full comment
Fiddlesticks's avatar

I live in San Diego. Yesterday I read an article about how average rent is so, so damn high. You would need to earn over $47/hour to afford it. 😦 uggggh...

Raising the minimum wage is one thing, but $25 an hour will not cut it here. It can't be the only solution. We need to build more affordable housing.

https://www.housingsandiego.org/blog/chpc-housing-needs-report

Expand full comment
TalentNotAutotune's avatar

Migas = good. Can do without the tortilla strips though.

Expand full comment