We're thinking that the Ben Affleck of the Republican convention is gonna be Ron Silver. The Washington Times admitted that Silver isn't "even be the most popular middle-aged Jewish character actor named Ron," but they say that like it's a bad thing. Personally, we're thrilled at the RNC's low-wattage star power: Think of how easy the parties will be to get into! In Boston, any party where there was even the slightest chance for some decent star fucking had a bitch at the door, too many people in the VIP room and not enough people less important than we are. Next week, we won't have to waste valuable time waiting in line when we could be drinking. That said, some parties will be harder to get into than others, and therefore the most desirable. A good rule of thumb: Follow Jenna. But not too closely. Barring that, follow the gay Republicans. Follow them pretty closely, 'cuz they'll try to lose you.