577 Comments
User's avatar
Mark Linimon's avatar

The fact that "Turning Point USA’s Young Women’s Leadership Summit" is even a thing means that this timeline is irredeemably fucked.

Ari Chase-Ramos's avatar

"a huge portion of problems in society are caused by premarital and extramarital sex."

- someone who is going to vote for Donald Trump for president

Ari Chase-Ramos's avatar

"you are playing wife without him really having to play husband."

You could maybe tell him to respect you and do the things you want him to do (i.e. "play the husband") and dump him if he doesn't?

Riversong's avatar

You know, I'd be willing to live and have sex just the way Allie Beth Stuckey wants us all to if it would end war, hunger, homelessness, injustice, etc. But since it won't, I'm off to have some (not so) irresponsible but definitely perverted sex!

Thomas B.'s avatar

These people, I swear. The projection just drips off them like foul sweat.

JCfromNC's avatar

// Who doesn’t love a good analogy comparing women to livestock? //

"That's when she told me a story / About free milk and a cow / And said, "No huggee, no kissy until I get a wedding vow.""

https://youtu.be/WonOudGMSdc

Georgia Satellites, "Keep Your Hands to Yourself"

Mindy OkayIloveyoubyebye's avatar

I like cows.

My husband and I have discussed this matter in great deal. We decided to divorce and hook up again just to piss off the right. We're going to live in sin, have premarital hoochie koochies, and fall asleep next to each other in THE SAME BED.

Not in that order. We're old. 🙂💜

Maybe's avatar

Because of course there were no problems throughout the course of history because people just never had premarital sex.

And calling a woman "cow" is so outdated. Did it never occur to her that women get the benefit of premarital sex without having to end up with a husband?

Regret's avatar

Her argument implies she has never enjoyed sex. Which is sad.

Mindy OkayIloveyoubyebye's avatar

I wouldn't be here without premarital sex.

Try saying THAT in the 60s.

💜

Dina's avatar

I wouldn't be, either. My parents got married in May '62 and I was born in Nov '62. Either they had premarital sex or I was the biggest (8 lbs) three-months-premature baby in the history of the world.

Mindy OkayIloveyoubyebye's avatar

Hahaha!

My daughter found out it took 9+ months to grow a baby. And about the whole birth weight thing.

(Her father and I were married in June; she was born in November - 8 lbs 6 oz.)

I came home from work one day to find her on the couch with my wedding album open to the invitation page.

"WE NEED TO TALK!"

Satanic Pancake's avatar

But what if I don't have enough room in my home for a cow? Huh, Allie? What then?

Zyxomma's avatar

Ta, Robyn. Allie Beth can go fuck herself, within or without the bonds of marriage.

beb's avatar

Let's not forget the fine Republicans as Mothers for Threeways, Matt Gaetz and the Mann Act and all the fine grifters with an "R" after their name, Paradise could be achieved if only there were no Republicans.

Fiddlesticks's avatar

Has she ever considered that marriage might be about more than sex?

Mindy OkayIloveyoubyebye's avatar

She's probably praying it's just about icky poo poo sex and not actual emotions. 🙂💜

Darth Trad's avatar

The Trump boys have 6 marriages between them. Guess they need that advice more than the rest of us.

belfryo's avatar

"Plus, you are giving him all of the milk without having to buy the cow"

I'm 60 years old, it's interesting to hear an argument my grandfather made (b. 1895) to me when I was 10 coming out of the mouth of a WOMAN half MY age

Gammarae's avatar

WTF can you say to someone who complains about children speaking french? JFC

Mindy OkayIloveyoubyebye's avatar

You need to read more about her. Please look it up. There's a reason. 💜

AIB's avatar

Welcome to Fran Lebowitz.

CzechJournalists's avatar

the adults who roller skate one got me. How do you teach your kid how if you don't?

Ari Chase-Ramos's avatar

If you know how to roller skate, you can teach your kids to roller skate--and even roller skate with your kids!--even if you don't go to the roller rink and roller skate by yourself/with your adult friends.

Gammarae's avatar

it's just like sticking them on a bike and hoping they don't fall off, i guess. anyway, any person who is so annoyed by virtually everything in the universe that they can't even go outside ought to either go live in a cave, or . . . well, i won't say what else.

marydn's avatar

Way to totally miss the point that Fran Lebowitz was making. She is saying that people like the religious right need to learn to ignore the things they don't like or stay in the house so they don't see those things.