If you enjoyed the Inception -inspired editing featured in last week's Fartknocker Report , you will be a sad panda today, because Sarah Palin's back to her standard derpsplaining-into-the-camera format. She published five videos this week, which might make it seem like she put in a full work week. On closer inspection, however, Palin's wearing the same jacket in two videos published two days apart, with a total run time of 10 whole minutes and 24 seconds. Both videos focus on Obama's foreign policy failures, and we will bet our bottom Bitcoin she shot them both in the same sitting. We are really not joking about Palin running a terrifyingly efficient grift in the game.
What with her college degree from... QVC University?...she could surely do better than any old military procurement procedure, surely - especially since Obama makes all these decisions himself personally. What would a Socialist know about smart shopping, anyways? Just ask her subscribers, she knows the value of a dollar - your dollar, not hers, thank you.
Romney's strategy against China was to overwhelm them with work orders.
The Walk of Shame. Looks like she came straight from entertaining the troops.
She has such a flat ass, eww!
If she starts to run low we could try fracking her...
WAY too much, at a guess.
The F-35 bids fair to join a select company: the Douglas Devastator, the Brewster Buffalo, the Curtiss Helldiver...
What with her college degree from... QVC University?...she could surely do better than any old military procurement procedure, surely - especially since Obama makes all these decisions himself personally. What would a Socialist know about smart shopping, anyways? Just ask her subscribers, she knows the value of a dollar - your dollar, not hers, thank you.
So wait, did Ms. Heartbeat-away-from-the-Presidency just advocate a unilateral declaration of war against a neutral country?
This map is not to scale.
"So, who do I make the check out to?"
"Just make it out to the name of our cause: 'Conservative Action Starts Here'.... save yourself some time by just using the initials!"
Worse, the odd shape you see there is padding. Easier to see in a couple other shots.
Isn't the free market at work?...
That Football would come in handy the next time the Palins, reacting with potence, get into a street brawl.
In his first term as president, Obama cut $478 billion in our defense spending, and another $600 billion in cuts is comin’ in the future.
Actually, Defense spending has been increasing every year, Honey.
Obama just didn't give the Pentagon every gold-plated toilet they wanted, because he thought Conservatives wanted smaller Government???
The conservative vision is of America declaring war on everyone who won't invite our troops in willingly, with sweets and flowers.
When the Fartknocker endowment comes up for renewal, please can we just have booze instead?