The George Papadopoulos Story: It's Not Illegal If You're White!

Or if your wife is a hot blond. That's just the law.

Coffee boy's spilling the beans on Donald Trump and Jeff Sessions! Here's the money shot from Trumpland lackey George Papadopoulos's Sentencing Memo submitted Friday by his defense lawyers.

Eager to show his value to the campaign, George announced at the meeting that he had connections that could facilitate a foreign policy meeting between Mr. Trump and Russian President Vladimir Putin. While some in the room rebuffed George's offer, Mr. Trump nodded with approval and deferred to Mr. Sessions who appeared to like the idea and stated that the campaign should look into it.

So all those times that Trump and Sessions said they never wanted nothing to do with no Russians  no how  -- LIES. They were always DTF with Putin and his pals, and the March 31, 2016, meeting was just the beginning!

 Or maybe not, since Papadopoulos's own lawyers describe him throughout the Memo as "George," the helpless naif, plaything of older men, hopelessly out of his depth, willing to do anything to please his masters.

George's giddiness over Mr. Trump's recognition was prominent during the days that followed the March 31, 2016 meeting. He had a sense of unbridled loyalty to the candidate and his campaign and set about trying to organize the meeting with President Putin.

Poor George! All he wanted was to be a good boy, and then those mean FBI agents snuck up on him and asked him a bunch of confusing questions. Can you really blame him for telling a wee fib about running into a random Russian guy who told him about the hacked DNC emails before George was even associated with the campaign? 

His motives for lying to the FBI were wrongheaded indeed but far from the sinister spin the Government suggests. Caught off-guard by an impromptu interrogation, Mr. Papadopoulos misled investigators to save his professional aspirations and preserve a perhaps misguided loyalty to his master.

And who among us hasn't hidden $10,000 from a foreign businessman in a secret account, deleted all our Facebook messages when the FBI comes knocking, and withheld our cellphone from federal investigators? The important thing is, he did it because he loves America!

In conclusion, Your Honor, George is a good kid, so the only fair outcome is a sentence of probation terminated instanter , which is lawtalk for right away. As in, George walks out of here immediately with nothing but a conviction. But don't worry, because ...

That conviction, standing alone, is a significant punishment.

 The balls on this guy! Thousands of black kids are in jail for marijuana possession, and this 31-year-old college graduate is out there asking for a free pass because the FBI asked him a surprise question and he lied his ass off?

OH, FUCK OFF!

Papadopoulos's lawyers want the court to take pity on him because he's just a scrappy kid from Skokie with a lot of ambition? Please let us know when a black defendant in the US of A gets a pass for lying to the FBI in a major, criminal investigation because of fear of harming his/her career.

Out of loyalty to the new president and his desire to be part of the administration, he hoisted himself upon his own petard.

No, seriously, dude! FUCK RIGHT OFF WITH THAT.

Papadopoulos is due to be sentenced on Friday. We'll let you know if his lawyers succeed in having his case moved to juvenile court. You know, because he's such a nice, white young man!

[ Defense Sentencing Memo ]

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