Aloha, unrepentant liberals! 'Tis I, your noble weekly columnist, showing up for work for frigging once. I've been writing a book so as to pay the bills in this roaring U.S. economy. Bills are of course the toasters in the bathtub of the world, and my fear of them is commensurate only with my love for President Barack Obama, the subject of this brilliant column. Read on, and learn more about the saintly he-man to whom none of us will ever measure up.
oh sara, clearly you have been immersed in something joyless if the worst you hurl at us is 'unrepentant liberals'.
however, it is very good to have you back and thank you for 'his sensual lips and handsome bone structure'.
We welcome you back with open arms and open zippers.